on Nobody's Story (A guide thru chaos) by horus8
4 Apr 2005, 9:45 AM
10 because i didnt think someone could keep my attention for 14 minutes but you did -
on some deleted poem
4 Apr 2005, 9:29 AM
the rhyming is so forced that it distracted me from w/e you were trying to say.......
on Kansas City by PodPoet
9 Apr 2005, 9:26 AM
excellent
on Pleas Dont.. by MysticalRaven88
4 Apr 2005, 9:31 AM
we all suffer - suck it up
if your feeling sad - this may sound good to you but to the rest of world its dribble - try writing about sadness when you're happy and happiness when you're sad - it works better that way
if your feeling sad - this may sound good to you but to the rest of world its dribble - try writing about sadness when you're happy and happiness when you're sad - it works better that way
on What Does it Mean to be Human by Sterling5583
4 Apr 2005, 9:33 AM
good questions - not sure how well it would work in lyrical form....
on The Long Night by Tangerines
4 Apr 2005, 9:34 AM
i like the way this paints a pictures of the person, but is simply written
on Glory Bound by kazeaki
4 Apr 2005, 9:21 AM
"let them say you are of nothing made".....the whole inverting words to make things rhymes just doesnt sound good..
on Icarus Down by horus8
4 Apr 2005, 9:25 AM
i like this
on Was it real by mishy_lee
4 Apr 2005, 9:27 AM
"i'm dying here slowly" - this part sounds nice - but the rest seems kind of forced --
on some deleted poem
4 Apr 2005, 9:27 AM
nice!
on Within A World by forestchild7
9 Apr 2005, 9:04 AM
"as if it wil all my problems mend" ---- if you can't make your rhyming sound at all natural perhaps you should not try rhyming - this sounds incredibly forced
on Before Existence by Jsylum
9 Apr 2005, 9:57 AM
i love some of the imagery
on Everytime by krazymofo321
6 Apr 2005, 9:50 AM
nice sentiment but its really not that original, and sounds kind of pimply
on ?? by timvick473662003
6 Apr 2005, 9:57 AM
to pimply
on NIGHTMILK SUNBLOOD by horus8
6 Apr 2005, 10:01 AM
you have the unnerving habit of writing poems twice the length they need to be,
have you considered seeing the dali exhibit in philly?
have you considered seeing the dali exhibit in philly?
on You Were There by danevie
9 Apr 2005, 9:14 AM
you have the disconcerting habit of having someone remedy your ills in the past tense while you are still in the present-----
on Coloured waifs home by horus8
8 Apr 2005, 6:54 PM
this is actually a senryu
on The Masonic Underling & the 33 degree by horus8
9 Apr 2005, 9:44 AM
again,this is senryu not haiku
on Rustling Wind by laura2224rn
9 Apr 2005, 9:53 AM
i'm sorry but there is no answer to all the worldy grief's - that is one question that has puzzled philosophers for centuries