on Bleeding by invernalmariposa
28 Oct 2002, 7:56 PM
The last two or three lines are perhaps of value.
replying on Strong by little_angel_maria
26 Oct 2002, 7:13 PM
Yes, dear girl, I do have some nerve. I quite agree. And I don't doubt I'd make all my comments to your face, too. What does Christof have to do with any of this? And I'm sure Blade would never hurt me -- he'd only try to rip out my throat, bite out my vocal cords with his plastic fangs and all that. the problem is that he'd fail. Anyway, I shall be vaguely nice: I honestly think that you should not post your poetry. You are apparently too sensitive for it. I don't necessarily think you shouldn't write: but don't show it. It's not up to standards. For starters, get over your problem, with therapy or not. I do believe that writing these things has helped you a lot, 'Daniella' and 'Why?', for example. But as poetry, they are horrendous. I believe you wrote them under the full fling of the emotion, and that rarely makes for good poetry. Or, for that matter, good art. To make an analogy, when both Mozart and Tchaikovsky wrote their most celebratedly depressive and depressed works -- the 'Requiem' and the 'Symphonie Pathetique' respectively -- they were actually in very high spirits. And many of the most sunny works in existence were created during their creator's darkest days. Keep on writing these affairs of yours -- but perhaps when you are over your past you will be able to write about in a way that will not be a mind-boggling annoying stream of inanities. Get over it, then we can talk about how to fix your poems -- right now, I don't think there's any point, among other things because I can't see anything to save them, or very little, and secondly because you are apparently not mature enough to take criticism. For an example of what I mean about your poetry, go read God's Wife's poem 'No Angel Came' and then compare it to your 'Why?' The difference, and the deficiencies of your work, should be immediatedly apparent
on Surpass the Dream by darkhelmet10
26 Oct 2002, 6:55 PM
Poor her.
on Is It Love by angel_uy
26 Oct 2002, 6:38 PM
Has anyone ever told you that all your poems sound the same?
I do believe I have stepped onto holy ground. Who could have guessed there were so many angels in the world, and who all wrote poemes? Have these people no imagination, no capability to think of some other name? Or are they merely all so self-aggrandising that they take themselves for things above the human? Pah! And people call me pretentious.
on Rain Doesn't Seem to Stop by ThoughtfulSoul
26 Oct 2002, 6:32 PM
This poem definitely is a tradegy. A great tradegy.
on Friends Beyond the Storm by loneshadow29
25 Oct 2002, 9:18 AM
Blah blah blah blah -- what is more cliched that storms, harbours, beacons? Have you no imagination?
on Shadow's First Attempt at Haiku by loneshadow29
25 Oct 2002, 9:17 AM
Amusing.
on Living Conditions by Christof
25 Oct 2002, 8:38 AM
-=Dark_Angel=- is going to have something to say about the third line, methinks...
on Drinker's Haiku by cacophony
25 Oct 2002, 8:35 AM
All you have to do is put some salt on the red wine stains and they'll be easy to make dissapear. Really.
on The Elephant Olympics by Yardbird
25 Oct 2002, 8:33 AM
This must be one of the greatest attacks on political correctness I've ever read. We need more like this. Cheers!
on My love for another. by cleverdevice
25 Oct 2002, 8:32 AM
To be pedantic, 'peaceful' and 'fool' don't really rhyme. But then maybe you have a strange accent.
replying on Why Did God Do This To Me? by TripleHGurl
24 Oct 2002, 7:11 PM
Are you claiming that abject heresy isn't serious? On your knees and start praying. How on EARTH do you expect God to listen to you when you claim he makes a mistake?
on Perfect by confuzdlilgirl
24 Oct 2002, 7:08 PM
Far from perfect.
on George Bush, Jesus Christ, and the good ole US of A! by dougsoderstrom
24 Oct 2002, 12:06 PM
This is no better. It is still a badly put statement of the very obvious. It's as idiotic as anything Bush ever said.
Actually, if it was written this badly as an ironic statement on Bush's inability to speak coherently, it's a work of genius. But I somehow doubt that.
Actually, if it was written this badly as an ironic statement on Bush's inability to speak coherently, it's a work of genius. But I somehow doubt that.
on Hated by Ninoy_Instigator
24 Oct 2002, 11:57 AM
You did do something boring. This poem. Don't you think comparing yourself to Christ, Malcolm, Rizal and King is a bit pretentious? Though I'm glad you kept Lincoln, Kennedy, and Rabin out of the list. Though you might have added Lumumba and Gandhi.
replying on My Friend? by Blade
23 Oct 2002, 4:40 PM
All right, I admit it. Poetie does beat this guy. I was going through the comments on one of your poemes and found the 'I will be contacting the FBI' remark. I think that takes the prize of those left on here.
on Violent edge by kliq
23 Oct 2002, 11:23 AM
Come on now. You know she enjoys it.