this is all a bit crazed and confused a bit like a swarm of bees i guess. was this the idea?

good solid draft i say could do with some tweaking around the edges to bring it together a bit more. i liked the wording very descriptive

i found this quite a sentimental piece and must admit i rather liked the "tucking you in like a child" line as this portrays the innocence that love can be. great descriptive work

i think a better quality of poem could have been written by focusing on the final line but so much has been said in a short piece where live feels like a continous downpour

you say in the end lets turn it around but i dont get it as through out the piece you are both negative and positive sides on each line so what needs to be turned around? it seems a very confused piece.

really enjoyed this piece. i think you have captured human nature so perfectly and showed it so well in contrast with the love of the pet. very well written.

i thought this was super, great use of descriptive language where you can almost here the children playing and chattering. well done

this seems to be a very angry piece atlest that is the way i read it but i cant seem to find reasons within the anger that justify it?

i like this piece alot. very accurate descriptions and quite animated. i would love to see you write a piece from a different angle e.g how wonderful winter can be. well done

this is really good, i read this first then pt2&1 and prefer this. the opening is powerful and makes you want to read on while this powerful message is drawn to the end in same way. very blunt language used to good effect. well done

reading this as a loner i can understand the words very well but i also believe those not faced with these feeling could also understand what is being said. great movement in parts " fake smile and hide like a coward ". good piece!

i think this is written quite beautifully. it just flows from line to line almost taking you into the void. super!

i like the wording used here and the fitting subject. think if you broke it down a bit into a more sympathetic structure it would flow better and be a far better read. nice work.

the real tragedy you write of here is the pain love causes. how can something which is so wonderful to have cause so much pain. i guess poetry is a good way to find that answer

i like this short piece. has the lines "no promises, no demands" which are also lyrics from a song on the topic of love with no promises, nice