on To My Love by Lola
12 Nov 2006, 12:20 PM
i like this short piece. has the lines "no promises, no demands" which are also lyrics from a song on the topic of love with no promises, nice
on My heart belongs to you by creepshow
12 Nov 2006, 12:13 PM
the real tragedy you write of here is the pain love causes. how can something which is so wonderful to have cause so much pain. i guess poetry is a good way to find that answer
on PHOTO by madamefrufru
6 Jul 2006, 12:42 PM
good solid draft i say could do with some tweaking around the edges to bring it together a bit more. i liked the wording very descriptive
on Destruction by kaoriliveshere
6 Jul 2006, 12:33 PM
this is all a bit crazed and confused a bit like a swarm of bees i guess. was this the idea?
on Before Departing by italenrico
1 May 2006, 1:44 PM
i found this quite a sentimental piece and must admit i rather liked the "tucking you in like a child" line as this portrays the innocence that love can be. great descriptive work
on Lost and Found by annadoc
18 Apr 2006, 4:12 AM
you say in the end lets turn it around but i dont get it as through out the piece you are both negative and positive sides on each line so what needs to be turned around? it seems a very confused piece.
on no title by mystic enoch
10 Mar 2006, 11:24 AM
i like the wording used here and the fitting subject. think if you broke it down a bit into a more sympathetic structure it would flow better and be a far better read. nice work.
replying on midnight feast by pollywolly
30 Jan 2006, 9:42 AM
thats what i mean about not wanting to spoil the story if there is one lol cos what i was writing wasnt a horror or scary story but thats how it is being read. even on reading it myself now away from what i was remebering when i wrote it i can see it could be portrayed that way. so do you suggest if i was to expand it i should stray from fact and delve into fiction? tks for your comments very helpful tks
replying on midnight feast by pollywolly
30 Jan 2006, 8:00 AM
yes i understand what you are saying. that was the idea to allow the reader to form their own ideas on what would happen next. i myself would say that this is a finished piece which could certainly stretch to a few more verses but i would be reluctant as i think it could spoil the effect by concluding it?
on The Fragile silhouette of me by Prince of Void
22 Jan 2006, 9:12 AM
i think this is written quite beautifully. it just flows from line to line almost taking you into the void. super!
on All I Want by AngelicVampiress
22 Jan 2006, 9:07 AM
reading this as a loner i can understand the words very well but i also believe those not faced with these feeling could also understand what is being said. great movement in parts " fake smile and hide like a coward ". good piece!
on Desperate Season by Sisterwolf
15 Jan 2006, 11:48 AM
i like this piece alot. very accurate descriptions and quite animated. i would love to see you write a piece from a different angle e.g how wonderful winter can be. well done
on Schoolyard Walls by Joe-joe
15 Jan 2006, 11:01 AM
i thought this was super, great use of descriptive language where you can almost here the children playing and chattering. well done
replying on the man with the red pendant by pollywolly
11 Jan 2006, 2:43 PM
thank you for your comments, much appreciated
replying on the man with the red pendant by pollywolly
11 Jan 2006, 2:07 PM
walking past this painting every day and looking at it so much i began to wonder what he was trying to say to me. im not much into art, so i did what all writers do and used my imagination!
on The copper man and Labrador by Caducus
11 Jan 2006, 7:35 AM
really enjoyed this piece. i think you have captured human nature so perfectly and showed it so well in contrast with the love of the pet. very well written.