on some deleted poem
5 Jul 2003, 11:12 PM
While I have some semblance of the context, it doesn't colour the fact that I think the pithiness and tone of the work, as well as the rhyming quatrain in the second stanza, are delightful and giddy in its haughtiness. I particularly enjoy the use of breaking the sentence between the two stanzas.
Certainly an enjoyable piece with or without knowledge of the context.
Certainly an enjoyable piece with or without knowledge of the context.
on Iterated Fuck by nentwined
4 Jul 2003, 10:06 PM
Not tonight, nentwined. I have a headache.
on missing time by Bill Z Bub
4 Jul 2003, 8:17 PM
The diction is mellifluous. I am particularly struck by the enjambment and how it seems to contribute to the overall feeling of how well-crafted the piece is.
The only thing I take issue with is the question posed in the ninth stanza. While the diction and intent match, it seems awkward enough there to interrupt the flow of the piece.
The only thing I take issue with is the question posed in the ninth stanza. While the diction and intent match, it seems awkward enough there to interrupt the flow of the piece.
on My last ever poemranker transmission by King Abdullah II
4 Jul 2003, 3:46 PM
I'm reminded of how Aristotle once said that man, like elephants and bees, are inherently political animals.
on MotherF*ckers Who Fuck Above/Two Story Apartment by JoyLuck
4 Jul 2003, 1:14 PM
A wonderful piece in the tradition of concrete and typographical poetry. Well done.
on some deleted poem
4 Jul 2003, 1:31 PM
Technically inept. Seeing as how it's a piece with no real intent or content, I think it ought to be rated in a similar fashion.
on I am talented & good looking damnit! by <{Baba^Yaga}>
4 Jul 2003, 1:28 PM
The repetition in this piece is delightful and well-crafted. There are certainly many cases of repetition ruining a poem, but this certainly isn't one of them.
on some deleted poem
4 Jul 2003, 3:49 PM
I'm sorry, what? Can you speak a little louder, please? I had something pointless in my ear.
on some deleted poem
4 Jul 2003, 1:20 PM
Aside from the sugary-sweet sentiment and the reminders of Celine Dion songs, it's certainly well-crafted from a technical standpoint. You haven't had to sacrifice diction for the rhyming scheme, and the metre is well-chosen and well-maintained. All in all, not a bad ditty.
on Killbirds by <{Baba^Yaga}>
4 Jul 2003, 1:38 PM
I'm inclined to give a higher rating, if only because vilanelles are so difficult to write well. You've taken to the structure, and the narrative flow of the piece is intriguing.
on constructed word poem #6 by david
26 Aug 2002, 12:05 PM
I can imagine it would. You don't necessarily have to audibly respond to something in order to have hesitation. Can someone not hesitate to commit an action (conceivably, when there's nobody around to talk to)?
on silence of the sky by david
13 Aug 2002, 11:35 PM
Curious that you should mention David Hume; I recently (re-)read his essay 'Of the Standard of Good Taste'. He was a smart cookie, but as for the nonsense of him being the greatest philosopher to have written in the English language, it's a big stretch IMO.
on some deleted poem
11 May 2002, 12:22 PM
The brave attempt at the integration of onomatopoeia should be applauded here, even if the results aren't as optimal as they could be.
I'm not sure what you mean by the last line of the first stanza.
The the sentiment of the whole piece is horribly clich?. I'd like to be more polite about it, but this has certainly been done to death, this idea. I do realize that this is the crux of the piece, and so I'd recommend finding a different take on the sentiment expressed, or just scrap the piece altogether.
I'm not sure what you mean by the last line of the first stanza.
The the sentiment of the whole piece is horribly clich?. I'd like to be more polite about it, but this has certainly been done to death, this idea. I do realize that this is the crux of the piece, and so I'd recommend finding a different take on the sentiment expressed, or just scrap the piece altogether.
on Independence Day (the speech from the film) by scitz
5 Jul 2003, 11:06 PM
While I don't necessarily object to adaptation (some of the finest poems have been birthed in such a fashion), there ought to be some effort put into the finished product. I see little evidence of such. No enjambment, no typographical changes. For all I know, you could have very well copy-and-pasted this from a web page. What's the difference between this and plagiarizing Shakespeare, Milton, Ginsberg, or Atwood?
on some deleted poem
26 Jun 2004, 9:30 AM
Behold, the long-distance bus ride. I tried one of them once. Vancouver to San Francisco. Never again.
on While flipping over stones by <{Baba^Yaga}>
26 Jun 2004, 9:38 AM
I get the impression that this could be a far better piece without the constraints of the rhyme pattern. As it is, it feels a little disjointed and forced in parts, if only to fit the structure you've imposed on it.
on The daisy-chain girl by richa
11 Jun 2004, 10:54 AM
Lyrically, I have no problem. The language is tightly-wound and it sounds good. The issue I take, though, is more typographical in nature. The enjambment of the lines and that punctuation aren't doing anything for me, and I find it a little distracting to the point where it's detracting from my enjoyment of the piece.
on some deleted poem
8 Jul 2005, 9:08 PM
It's as though you've been watching me eating pistachios late at night, weeping for the ones I can't open.
Upon reading this piece, I wonder why there isn't a 'prose' classification. 'Other' works, yes, but wouldn't it be nice to have 'prose'? Wouldn't it?