on Empty Chronicles by Scarlett
27 Feb 2006, 2:44 AM
Not really my sort of poetry so I can't realy comment on whether it is any good or not, but it seems that a few more commas could be useful, and as a graecophile I would rather Athina than Minerva, but this is just my personal belief that the Greeks were more artistic that the Romans.
replying on Edges by Blue Magpie
27 Feb 2006, 2:31 AM
Dear Scarlet,
It is nice to see someone is reading stuff that isn't in the 'Recent' list. If anyone wanted to see the the mildly edited version of this that it ended up as it was recently published in the 2005/2006 edition of The Eclectic Muse.
It is nice to see someone is reading stuff that isn't in the 'Recent' list. If anyone wanted to see the the mildly edited version of this that it ended up as it was recently published in the 2005/2006 edition of The Eclectic Muse.
replying on An Interview With King David by amanda_dcosta
26 Feb 2006, 11:23 PM
I should have read the other comments before I made mine, never mind.
on An Interview With King David by amanda_dcosta
26 Feb 2006, 11:22 PM
Line 2 the word 'so' before intrigued would make the following line grammatically correct.
I take a good look at his attire.
Dressed like another other guy,
Blue jeans, T-shirt, track shoes.
This should not be indented and it should say 'like any other guy'
Iâm a new person inspired by There needs to be a comma between person and inspired.
This is nicely done, I am sure you could get published in a religiously oriented magazine if you tried.
However to my mind it is not a poem.
I take a good look at his attire.
Dressed like another other guy,
Blue jeans, T-shirt, track shoes.
This should not be indented and it should say 'like any other guy'
Iâm a new person inspired by There needs to be a comma between person and inspired.
This is nicely done, I am sure you could get published in a religiously oriented magazine if you tried.
However to my mind it is not a poem.
on Filler by MacFrantic
26 Feb 2006, 11:13 PM
Agreeeeeed
on Desperate Revival by Silverjackel
26 Feb 2006, 12:58 AM
The focus here is rather in and out of clarity and the poem does not paint a clear picture. For example, the verb mope, is not commensurate with pure despair, it is far to light to follow it. You mope when you are slightly bored or upset. There are also the inversions in the walk/talk lines.
on Moonlit Glare by Silverjackel
26 Feb 2006, 12:45 AM
Nice
on My Shattered Love by Silverjackel
26 Feb 2006, 12:40 AM
Its so nice to see love transcending the darkness and shining in the wilderness of our lives.
on Today's Spam by nentwined
26 Feb 2006, 12:38 AM
A good list but you missed a few, like the various "Any Meds You Need" "Get a Credit Card Whatever" "Consolidate Your Debts" "Re cvmthwifdj" and these last might be because my mail account is through my own domain name "Your Account is Suspended For Security Reasons" "Account Near to Being Closed"
replying on Spruce Bruce the Barnacle Goose Learns About Moulting by Blue Magpie
26 Feb 2006, 12:31 AM
Dear Ranger,
Thanks for the comment, but I would have no queries with your pedantism if it helps me find errors in the poem, I have corrected the line you mentioned (on my hard drive) and I also found a few punctuation errors, but no other typos, so if someone else sees them please say something.
Thanks for the comment, but I would have no queries with your pedantism if it helps me find errors in the poem, I have corrected the line you mentioned (on my hard drive) and I also found a few punctuation errors, but no other typos, so if someone else sees them please say something.
replying on Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie
26 Feb 2006, 12:13 AM
Dear Zodiac,
Thanks for coming and for the comments, I think I have already responded to the relevent points in other replies.
Thanks for coming and for the comments, I think I have already responded to the relevent points in other replies.
replying on Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie
26 Feb 2006, 12:12 AM
Dear Alchemy,
Thanks for taking the time to both read and comment. I do ofcourse see your point, and was aware of it as I was writing, however to change the rhyme scheme to 2 or 3 rhymes a stanza would really mean rewriting the poem and i am not up to that at the moment, it was quite hard work. The length is not really going to be a problem for people who are into the poetry of the past centuries, in comparison with much that Shelley, Wordsworth, Tennyson and Coleridge wrote it is quite short, not to mention Milton.
Thanks for taking the time to both read and comment. I do ofcourse see your point, and was aware of it as I was writing, however to change the rhyme scheme to 2 or 3 rhymes a stanza would really mean rewriting the poem and i am not up to that at the moment, it was quite hard work. The length is not really going to be a problem for people who are into the poetry of the past centuries, in comparison with much that Shelley, Wordsworth, Tennyson and Coleridge wrote it is quite short, not to mention Milton.
on Relativity by Bobjim
26 Feb 2006, 12:02 AM
OK
on last night was like the last one by hendrimike
25 Feb 2006, 3:47 AM
The first stanza made so little sense it put me off reading the rest of the poem, also, why the lack of punctuation, it just seems plain lazy to me.
on a waste of time by hendrimike
25 Feb 2006, 3:32 AM
More of what's already been written, plus my personnal beef against the laziness. If you want an education I would start with punctuation, its very usefuly and makes a reader less likely to feel insulted.
replying on Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie
25 Feb 2006, 3:21 AM
Dear Ecargo,
Thanks for the comments. Yes I have read Shelley's great sonnet, which as you probably know was written as a challange, with either Hunt of maybe Southey I misremember which but Hunt I think, to write a sonnet inspired by some archeological ruins they had seen on display in London, and it is not really about meeting a traveller. Neither is my poem, which sets out not just to make a statement, but to argue the case, I have merely made the point in other poems, however given the state of the world I wanted to put the point a little more undeniably.
On a different note I wasn't aware of the MP parody, quite funny.
Thanks for the comments. Yes I have read Shelley's great sonnet, which as you probably know was written as a challange, with either Hunt of maybe Southey I misremember which but Hunt I think, to write a sonnet inspired by some archeological ruins they had seen on display in London, and it is not really about meeting a traveller. Neither is my poem, which sets out not just to make a statement, but to argue the case, I have merely made the point in other poems, however given the state of the world I wanted to put the point a little more undeniably.
On a different note I wasn't aware of the MP parody, quite funny.
replying on Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie
25 Feb 2006, 3:15 AM
Dear Amanda,
No problem, I hope your mind is getting well refreshed, I recommend regualr doses of freshly squeezed orange juice.
No problem, I hope your mind is getting well refreshed, I recommend regualr doses of freshly squeezed orange juice.
replying on Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie
25 Feb 2006, 3:10 AM
Dear Terbenaw,
Thanks for taking the time to read the poem, and thanks for liking it. For the rest, you are right but see my reply to Ranger.
Thanks for taking the time to read the poem, and thanks for liking it. For the rest, you are right but see my reply to Ranger.
I am sorry you don't like the poem.