on Until by lunar
29 Dec 2002, 12:38 AM
Maybe you were obscuring what he had, before you left?
on me, Deep-as-a-puddle and the elusive connection by lunar
29 Dec 2002, 12:35 AM
Do you have a crouching tiger in your living room? The nature of "the connection" is that you find it with the right person, right? Otherwise it wouldn't be there? Does *who* you find it with matter if it can only be found with the right person?
Where the sun does not shine implies that you find it in his crotch.
This isn't really a poem so much as a list of personal proverbs.
Where the sun does not shine implies that you find it in his crotch.
This isn't really a poem so much as a list of personal proverbs.
replying on Deep Inner Pain by razorgrin
8 Dec 2002, 7:26 PM
SPITEFUL DEATH, I TELLS YA! SPITEFUL DEATH!
Damn you for bleeding all over my kitchen.
Those were good cookies, though...
Damn you for bleeding all over my kitchen.
Those were good cookies, though...
replying on Necromantic Boo-boo by razorgrin
4 Dec 2002, 4:09 PM
I don't cram. I do, however, hold myself to a reasonably high standard in essay writing. Which is what I'm doing: nailing together a pile of literary criticism. E-mail here: beatrice@splah.net
on Prose poem written in 1 minute and 27 seconds while listening to Slim Cessna croon by poetandknowit
13 Nov 2002, 8:08 PM
You are a genius! How did you ever write this delicious piece of literature so quickly. At least you've still got your toilet, even if it won't flush.
replying on Cancer Haikus by poetandknowit
13 Nov 2002, 1:58 PM
This time, I agree with both of you. There is no topic in a poet's experience that he should not try to tackle. A poet writes both for society and for himself, and in writing a piece that allows others to experience his grief, he gains a better handle on it himself. I would even go so far as to say that poets should try to write about things that they haven't experienced, as an exercise in empathy and perspective. It is impossible to be too close to the content of a piece you are writing - when you are writing, even if what you are saying is factually wrong, you are exposing a part of yourself, which in a very superficial way, is what poetry is all about.
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
10 Nov 2002, 12:00 AM
I think I missed something. What the foosh is going on?
on Beauty vs the beast by UAFANTHORPEY
5 Nov 2002, 9:12 PM
This image is cliche and you bring nothing new to it. You sound outraged and hurt rather than empowered.
replying on Little Girl and Mom's mistake by t_t_redhot
5 Nov 2002, 9:03 PM
Exactly. You say things so much more concisely than I do.
on Ionic Winter by david
3 Nov 2002, 12:41 AM
I like this, but there are some rough edges that need to be smoothed out. I don't quite understand how you are MacBeth. What is the game that she is playing, if you are MacBeth, and she isn't really interested anyway? It doesn't sound like she's exactly being seductive. The first four lines are beautiful, the first 6 are good. Then, I get confused. I like the coldness of the poem. In the middle, the dialogue gives life and the potential for warmth, but it slips back into that dreary winter in the end, which makes me shiver. So much potential here; smooth out those images and I'll raise my vote. 7.
on Down Again by Birdman42s
3 Nov 2002, 12:35 AM
You are good with rhythm. If you work on finding a way to make your reader feel what you are feeling, rather than just telling them, your work will be greatly improved. Imagine your feelings as something, even something as simple as a monster under the bed, and describe your feelings in metaphor.
on A Cold Day in March by PunchMeInTheFace
3 Nov 2002, 12:28 AM
I think this would be more intense if written in the first person. The metaphor is weak. I like the weight of her hopes and fears... that's good. But do her hopes really weigh, or are they just tied down by her fears? I see a competition between them.
replying on Black Buns by Bachus
3 Nov 2002, 12:22 AM
"You could almost hear the ghosts of the typewriter pounding away at night." Fantastic.
I don't like Neal Cassady. I know he was important as a sort of catalyst in the beat generation, but he is not someone that I really have any respect for. Still, I like that line of yours.
I don't like Neal Cassady. I know he was important as a sort of catalyst in the beat generation, but he is not someone that I really have any respect for. Still, I like that line of yours.
on Something Must Be by Birdman42s
3 Nov 2002, 12:05 AM
Add an inspiring ending and submit this to the next "Chicken Soup for the Soul".
replying on ... by logun2002ya
30 Oct 2002, 6:53 PM
Your mom.
replying on ... by logun2002ya
30 Oct 2002, 6:50 PM
aww... kyoot.
on ... by logun2002ya
29 Oct 2002, 9:45 PM
cummings you ain't.
on ... by logun2002ya
29 Oct 2002, 9:40 PM
There is a word for people like you and currently it escapes me. If only I could think of it... Imbecile will have to do for now. Using a homonymn of one word does not make you unique, it just makes you silly.
on ... by logun2002ya
29 Oct 2002, 9:37 PM
u suck but not cuz u spelt i wrong. u suck cuz this poem is s-h-i-t-e.
replying on Love by little_angel_maria
23 Oct 2002, 12:34 PM
I know it seems unfair, kitten. But there are much better boys out there for you.