Re: self-righteousness by calliope	2-Feb-06/10:02 AM
I think I get it.
Re: inadequate by skaskowski	2-Feb-06/9:57 AM
Well it's not bad, but there's not much more I can say.
Re: Nomads by amanda_dcosta	2-Feb-06/4:06 AM
Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't haikus supposed to have 5 syllables in the first and last lines?
Re: a comment on Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	1-Feb-06/5:50 AM
But surely that's the idea of the dream wife; she is not just a homey real-life icon, she is something different, something new. Just as spending a moment looking through shut eyelids can bring up images of the less-than-ordinary and the beautiful (fresh lava, stained glass etc.) The contrast of language is a mirror for this, and in the end it's the real-life language that wins.
Re: a comment on A Cleansing Of Creeds by Caducus	1-Feb-06/5:42 AM
What the monk, it says there are 3 other comments on here but I can't see them...nentwined, are you playing jokes again?
Re: a comment on Les Imagistes by Nicholas Jones	1-Feb-06/5:38 AM
Ah but if you take this philosophy the duck probably shot itself with the Duck-shot shell. I actually love this poem, although it did take 3 reads to get round (*taps skull to check tiny brain is still there*).
Re: A Cleansing Of Creeds by Caducus	1-Feb-06/5:34 AM
Stanza 4 should, ironically, become the atheists' creed.
Re: a comment on Valentine? by celticskatermatt1	1-Feb-06/5:31 AM
Oh, and take out the comma in line one.
Re: Valentine? by celticskatermatt1	1-Feb-06/5:30 AM
The penultimate line is far too long given how quick the rest of the poem is, line 6 is a bit cheesy, other than that a very readable ditty.
Re: a comment on Hailing Miriam by Ranger	31-Jan-06/9:32 AM
Ah, no worries - it's good to get everyone's reaction individually, if you say what other people say then I'm going to have to think more about it! With regards to the rhythm, it's a very confused poem...I'm not sure what happened with it, it just wrote itself in a way. Again, Lorelei - I think the reason she came to mind was because she was something that neither Mary nor Miriam is...they both have a certain holiness about them and are the sweet sides of femininity, Lorelei is the antithesis. I think I will leave this one as it is for a time and return when I have cleared my mind...everything seems more crystal after a week or so. Thank you for your advice though - to everyone who's commented!
Re: a comment on Sky All Around Me (goddess edit) by ecargo	31-Jan-06/9:12 AM
Upon re-reading, it all makes perfect sense. It works much better when read with a clear mind!
Re: a comment on Moving from home by Caducus	31-Jan-06/8:59 AM
'Wasp-hollowed coxes' works really well as a gentle metaphor for graveyards - I don't know if that was intentional or not, but it did it for me. I could go pimply here and suggest 'wasp-hallowed coxes'...maybe not.
Re: The Book of Images by Dovina	31-Jan-06/8:55 AM
I had to read this about three times over the course of today in order to get all the imagery here. I love this poem and I love the ending. To me, perfect!
Re: Giving in to a boring suggestion by Joe-joe	31-Jan-06/8:12 AM
Very readable...'a martyr with badly timed second thoughts' made me laugh out loud, for that this is worth a 9...very creative indeed!
Re: The correct order of things by Stephen Robins	31-Jan-06/8:02 AM
No no no, below the gentry lies the Mayor.
Re: A Loud Room by MacFrantic	30-Jan-06/9:24 AM
Nothing to say that god'swife hasn't already, a well-written piece!
Re: Time, Indeterminate by ecargo	30-Jan-06/9:19 AM
Strange, I could have sworn that I'd commented on this earlier...ahh, the curse of selective memory returns! I like this, although I got the impression (from the last stanza and a half) that there's a tragedy round the corner...which turned it from a pleasent tribute to enduring feelings to having a much darker feel at the end - are you intending on following this up with a sequel? The only line that lost me was "named Zeppelin, in his name;" - is there something going straight over my head here? Either way, very nicely done.
Re: Moving from home by Caducus	30-Jan-06/4:37 AM
Absolutely beautiful, sad yet sweet.
Re: The world's shortest poem by ALChemy	29-Jan-06/2:37 PM
Having seen hundreds of variations on this - all of which were veritable piles of cack - imagine my surprise when I opened one that didn't scream out 'I'm crap! Hate me!' 8 for writing the only form of this that won't get the 'Pimple' rating on the ranker.
Re: a comment on Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	29-Jan-06/2:24 PM
Just a couple of grammatical points 'their' (line 4) and 'who's' (line 12 - should be 'whose'). To be honest I am really being pedantic with them though. On the other hand I did like the 'size 11 souls' bit!