| Re: affirmative action by thelonefrobros |
22-Dec-02/5:08 AM |
Dear God. I would give this a zero but that would risk you replacing Blade at the bottom. Instead I think I shall give it a ten, which will hopefully lift you out of the bottom fifteen so we NEVER HAVE TO SEE THIS PILE OF SHITE AGAIN!
And breathe.
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| Re: joyriding by Bill Z Bub |
22-Dec-02/5:04 AM |
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This is good, very good. 10
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| Re: missing time by Bill Z Bub |
22-Dec-02/4:59 AM |
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Ah yes, possibly the best work today...have a nine.
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| Re: a comment on Frozen Angel by Ranger |
22-Dec-02/4:44 AM |
Outstanding! How long have you played cello for? I've been going about nine years (and I'm still crap!) It's the most beautiful instrument in the world as far as I'm concerned-well, with the possible exception of the harp.
Do you have a group? I'm currently writing a string section to one of my group's songs, hopefully people will take notice of it.
Thanks for the comments everybody! Merry Christmas!
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| Re: Junk by Bonehiss |
20-Dec-02/1:48 PM |
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Quite good-possibly better as a lyric?
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| Re: March by <~> |
20-Dec-02/4:29 AM |
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Good stuff! Definately a 9, can't decide if it's enough for a ten...sod it, 10
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| Re: pee haiku by New Life Drug |
20-Dec-02/4:26 AM |
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Bugger, I'm agreeing with poetandknowit! This is incredible, thank you NLD!
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| Re: the feeling was never there by blackball |
20-Dec-02/4:15 AM |
Not bad, my friend, not bad at all. I like the line "praying for a moment..."
8/10
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| Re: Baby Soup by w~* ATHENA *~w |
20-Dec-02/4:04 AM |
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If you're going to steal REM's lyrics, please at least try to disguise them. Even better, DON'T STEAL THEM AT ALL!
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| Re: one word by Blade |
19-Dec-02/2:55 AM |
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Simple...he opens his mouth and crap spews everywhere
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| Re: before I forget by moonUnit |
19-Dec-02/12:53 AM |
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Reminds me of 'Before You Were Mine', by Carol Ann Duffy, I think.
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| Re: Sword of All by marvelis |
19-Dec-02/12:50 AM |
Some of this is very good, some is less than...
The second to last stanza is good, as is "Fight with all might"
Maybe you could put a dragon in there, and some wizards too(!) Don't worry, I'm just off in a Tolkien world...
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| Re: UltraSound by UnityMitford |
18-Dec-02/1:27 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Frozen Angel by Ranger |
18-Dec-02/1:26 PM |
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I've no idea why the ???s, they're meant to be apostrophes (not sure if I spelt that right)
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| Re: a comment on Frozen Angel by Ranger |
18-Dec-02/1:24 PM |
It's true that some of the lines don't quite work here-I thought that myself as I was writing it. Sadly that was at about three o clock in the morning, so I couldn't really clear my mind enough to come up with anything better. Then this morning, when I came to try and improve it I'd just totally lost all the ideas I had, which was an arse!
I considered not putting this on here until I'd improved it, but it occurred to me that I'm not a poet (no shit!) and that maybe the people on this site might help me with it, cause I really think it's ok. I especially feel pleased with the middle four lines of the last verse-I don't know where on earth they came from!
As for your guess, you are almost right. It???s actually a very obscure metaphor for me, in a strange sense (i.e. I???m not female, nor would I ever consider myself an angel). You are kind of right, though. It is drawn from a love I never had-but I would never curse her-we???re still great friends. It's really just the stupid period that all teenagers go through, but I figured that even if how I feel isn't important to the rest of the world, it's still important to me.
My friend Dani here just said that I could make a really good writer or poet if I tried! That was very complementary!
Anyway, thank you again for your time, I've got to go and get the bus or I'll be stuck in college miles from home!
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| Re: a comment on Frozen Angel by Ranger |
18-Dec-02/11:46 AM |
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By the way, can't wait to see your new one, it sounds good!
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| Re: a comment on Frozen Angel by Ranger |
18-Dec-02/11:39 AM |
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Soo-bloody-perb! Cheers for the advice! Do you mind if I write another version of this with your ideas in? I like both sets, and it would be cool to have both on here? Thanks once again!
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| Re: a comment on The North Wind by Ranger |
18-Dec-02/8:24 AM |
Okey-dokey then, I'll start with the title. I think that it was just the primary idea that sparked the whole thing off, and it kind of reflected how I wanted the poem to feel.
I was trying to write a song in the style of Reef (I try to imitate groups sometimes to see if I can, and if it's easy. Generally I don't use the things I write in this way for any particular purpose i.e. my group). Anyhoo, I ended up writing various two-liners that didn't really resemble Reef, but I thought "Hey, I'll put them together and see what it sounds like". I thought that some of it worked well, although in retrospect some of it is pretty naff and cliched.
Anyway, I enjoyed writing it and maybe if I've got time I'll try to improve it. Thank you for your observations-it's what I put poems on this site for!
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| Re: lackluster fear by blackball |
18-Dec-02/5:45 AM |
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I assume you're American? That would explain the spelling 'lackluster'. Over here it's 'lacklustre', but that doesn't matter. Good work, 7 or 8, can't decide...
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| Re: A christmas thought by keatsImnot |
18-Dec-02/5:41 AM |
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I'm confused. Is this a religious preacher poem, a third world preacher poem or a can't-be-arsed poem? Not bad, anyway.
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