poemranker ::20 most recent comments by richa (581-600) and replies

Comments byricha, 581–600 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

on “I’ll Drop You Off At The Next Corner” by Blindpoetry 9 Mar 2004, 4:38 AM
The car metaphor or whatever it is is too clumsy and esoteric, and often absurd. You might as well talk about leaving a cake out in the rain and losing the recipe and it taking so long to bake. (MacArthur Park)

Read it out loud 'if you want to stop for food don't ride with me'. You can not write in an angry manner and then talk about stopping off for food.
replying on “I’ll Drop You Off At The Next Corner” by Blindpoetry 7 Mar 2004, 11:49 AM
For gross moral turditude!
on Early Morning by fevriere 2 Mar 2004, 9:51 AM
If you are going to use punctuation use it the way through.

Needs a comma after insulated in the first verse and why the arbitrariness of capitals.

First verse does not make much sense grammatically.

Quite like the idea, the wisdom of an angel, how your wisdom is the age of your body but they are bodiless.
on The Lincoln Half by MacFrantic 2 Mar 2004, 5:33 AM
Lines 5,6,7 have no obvious context. Other than that I find this quite cute.
on Looking Outside by etherealmaiden 2 Mar 2004, 5:27 AM
You are on the inside looking out, you see children playing, chasing a lark, cutting themselves, getting over it.

OK anything else?
replying on Lifes work by richa 2 Mar 2004, 5:21 AM
Thanks for the links, I have been unable to find anything about 'Indefinite space' other than the review sited , but I have bookmarked the NHI site and will take a further look.
on Passion is by fevriere 28 Feb 2004, 3:11 AM
The first few lines show a certain potential. 'Outside I am watching and life goes round/ like prose and just as'

The rest is a bit off, but reading the entire submissions of a day. Something like this sticks out.
on Passion is by fevriere 27 Feb 2004, 10:14 AM
How adorable to read a poeme about passion from one of poemrankers Christian Youth.

(the collapse thing is a bit naff and 'stroke me'?)
on Lifes work by richa 27 Feb 2004, 10:10 AM
(original)


The dumb squirrel has again
tilted the earth

the clod-footed geranium's
ear bends to bedrock,
a boneless body
again to be buried
up to its neck

in soil. Spadework,

the skies stay open.
on Heather by andrewjthomas 26 Feb 2004, 10:02 AM
Many many stereotypes hold this back. Well written.
on Red by AskittlesK 26 Feb 2004, 9:55 AM
In hell you will be made to face yourself. How you have made light of self-mutilation.
on Homecoming by somemorepoetry 26 Feb 2004, 7:50 AM
your very best
on Choices in the Road by Pervy Elf 26 Feb 2004, 7:49 AM
To express this sentiment should only take two sentences max.
on Quest! by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 24 Feb 2004, 2:27 PM
If you are not a child then you are an idiot -8-
on Everyone's choosing sides by zodiac 24 Feb 2004, 2:25 PM
A nice rush-like quality to this. And a good combination of image and narrative.

Not sure about sharp smelling as memory. Do you really mean that memory is sharp smelling?

Also wet leaves do not really burn.
on A Natural Witch by Lenore 24 Feb 2004, 2:21 PM
Personally I would prefer the witch to be a character.
Then you can bring out these features in a more scholarly and less serially way.
on the wind's last crescendo by fair12 24 Feb 2004, 2:19 PM
Has a nice poetic feel, which is not always such a bad thing.

Pleasant, and has a finished feel to it.
on Damn Georgia Power by BrandonW 24 Feb 2004, 2:13 PM
can nothing but a brownout stop this flowing?
on Glass Flowers by Bachus 24 Feb 2004, 2:11 PM
Not sure I understand convicted in the first line. Or the question mark.

Reads well enough though.
on Whore Of Nazareth by Mona Lisa 24 Feb 2004, 2:08 PM
Seen a lot of this before, may have been you or a caducus poem.

The first line is pretty ace though.