on Ulterior Not Alterior by MacFrantic
8 Jul 2004, 11:44 AM
Not bad but you should avoid cliches such as "beyond a shadow of a doubt" and "damaged goods" and "universal truths." Oh, also "any way you put it." Be original as much as possible.
on Charter Of Rights by EAger to Offend
8 Jul 2004, 11:52 AM
I like the message in this piece and agree. One minor nitpick. I would delete the "off" so it would read, "who venture to new worlds for peace."
on Battlefield, Girl. by LucidRevelation
8 Jul 2004, 11:58 AM
Forget the rhyme and try free verse. Also, an economy
of words would improve this. Try to say more with less words.
of words would improve this. Try to say more with less words.
on Are You Experienced? by EAger to Offend
8 Jul 2004, 12:10 PM
Tho I'm not exactly sure what in hell you are staying, I am sure enough to give this a 9. Interesting!
on Recycled Stardust by Quarton
6 Jul 2004, 7:20 PM
I will try one more time in reference to reality and give you another chance to ridicule me. But, this will be my final post on the subject.
The basic oneness of the universe is one of the most important revelations of modern physics. At the subatomic particle level, all things are interrelated, interconneted and interdependent. Reality is an abstraction devised by our discriminating and categorizing intellects. To believe our concepts of separate things and events are realities of nature is an illusion, plain and simple. If you don't believe me, then you don't believe in quantum mechanics, period, and all of your arguments have no basis in fact. If you don't know this basic truth, then you should avoid the subject rather than expose your ignorance which so far, has been considerable.
The basic oneness of the universe is one of the most important revelations of modern physics. At the subatomic particle level, all things are interrelated, interconneted and interdependent. Reality is an abstraction devised by our discriminating and categorizing intellects. To believe our concepts of separate things and events are realities of nature is an illusion, plain and simple. If you don't believe me, then you don't believe in quantum mechanics, period, and all of your arguments have no basis in fact. If you don't know this basic truth, then you should avoid the subject rather than expose your ignorance which so far, has been considerable.
on Absolute Truth (about Quarton) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
6 Jul 2004, 7:48 PM
What can I say but a ten. If I wasn't me, I'd even have a good laugh. (actually, I had one anyway.)
I love limericks. Hear is one you might like:
There was a young lady from Bright,
who traveled much faster than light.
She departed one day, in a relative way
and arrived on the previous night.
I love limericks. Hear is one you might like:
There was a young lady from Bright,
who traveled much faster than light.
She departed one day, in a relative way
and arrived on the previous night.
on Paradelle of Progress by Dovina
6 Jul 2004, 2:20 PM
congrats on trying something new and different. I
enjoyed and give it a nine. Only 5 more to go?
enjoyed and give it a nine. Only 5 more to go?
on Blobby blob code ** by MR Blobby
5 Jul 2004, 2:45 PM
You've got to be kidding! I'll give you a three just
for having the guts to post it.
for having the guts to post it.
on Fury by J.B. Manning
5 Jul 2004, 2:47 PM
Kind of like a bad soap opera. Sorry.
on transmutation by William Delacroix
5 Jul 2004, 3:06 PM
I am speechless. So much written to say so little.
You need to say more using an economy of words.
You need to say more using an economy of words.
on ocd by FreeFormFixation
5 Jul 2004, 3:08 PM
Well, you managed to gross me out.
on Rainbow by TwilightDawned
5 Jul 2004, 2:43 PM
Short and sweet. Nice imagery.
on Translation by Dovina
4 Jul 2004, 11:44 AM
This is really quite a lovely little poem. I love the
last three stanzas and my only suggestion is the third
stanza. IMO, it doesn't quite flow as well as the rest
of the poem. Still, it's exceptional as is. Good stuff
and a solid nine.
last three stanzas and my only suggestion is the third
stanza. IMO, it doesn't quite flow as well as the rest
of the poem. Still, it's exceptional as is. Good stuff
and a solid nine.
on Cyber Junkie by J.B. Manning
3 Jul 2004, 10:43 AM
Some pretty good lines in this and interesting
enough to hold my interest.
enough to hold my interest.
on Crossing the Mojave by INTRANSIT
25 May 2005, 4:21 PM
A solid nine. Fascinating!
on some deleted poem
25 May 2005, 4:01 PM
This is quite a good read. Well done.
on A Flower for Monet by Shuushin
25 May 2005, 4:06 PM
Quite simply elegant and I don't impress easily. The
best I have read at this site.
best I have read at this site.
on Ack Bassward, or something like that by thepinkbunnyofdoom
30 May 2005, 8:18 PM
Sorry about the criticism of your poem. I Was
in a lousy mood and after reading it again, it
does have merit though it would work better if
you said more with less.)
in a lousy mood and after reading it again, it
does have merit though it would work better if
you said more with less.)
on some deleted poem
25 Aug 2005, 11:18 AM
rockmage,
Did I do something to piss you off? You went through
all my poems and gave each a zero. They can't be that
bad, can they? Oh well, at least you were consistent
and also, used your name rather than anonymous.
This poem is pretty good. kind of humorous and surely
original in its content.
Your old buddy,
Quarton
Did I do something to piss you off? You went through
all my poems and gave each a zero. They can't be that
bad, can they? Oh well, at least you were consistent
and also, used your name rather than anonymous.
This poem is pretty good. kind of humorous and surely
original in its content.
Your old buddy,
Quarton
on some deleted poem
14 Sep 2005, 10:13 AM
I liked parts of this but the cadence and rhythm
are off by my reading. You could work on this without
altering the basic theme of your poem. Good luck.
quarton
are off by my reading. You could work on this without
altering the basic theme of your poem. Good luck.
quarton