on The Virgin by cleverdevice
24 May 2004, 1:12 AM
A master piece to be hung with next to a cheap reprint altered in photo shop of that one painting... by that guy... but anyway, genius. I love it. It gave me the shniggles.
on am i on speaker phone? good~ by peaceseeker
24 May 2004, 10:54 AM
too personal without any true depth. Just Emoting, and not even very strongly. Nice imagery but it feels like its coming from nowhere only to end up going nowhere. No suggestions, because I'm not really sure how you could make this better.
on Bankruptcy by INTRANSIT
17 Jun 2004, 7:07 PM
So much said, so few words word.
on West Coast Epilogue (Pseudo Triolet) by wilco
17 Jun 2004, 7:12 PM
Next time you choose an incredible place not to go, try and make it little more map dot as it were. Way more could be said about California. I'll leave it at that.
on The Freemasons by Bachus
17 Jun 2004, 12:54 PM
Ow! Ow! Do the Illuminati Next!!! Or C.E.R.N., Inventing the Internet. At least get into the Wonderous decussion of Peak Oil?! Anti-matter!?! Bio-Organics perhaps? Or anything Else Mentioned In "ANGELS AND DEMONS" by Dan Brown.
on some deleted poem
10 Jun 2004, 10:57 AM
Damned you and your spanish! I actually care whats under the line of stars, but I'm too lazy to translate it. Interestingly a paradox of its own sort.
on some deleted poem
10 Jun 2004, 11:04 AM
Maybe its just me, but it reads increbible in a Will Shatner kinda way. Rather pretty, with lots of good itellectual images. Its tied together like one of those ribbons you mentioned knotted into a bow.
-10-
-10-
on The daisy-chain girl by richa
10 Jun 2004, 11:13 AM
Wow, vague with a great sense of inner wisdom being displayed, but I still feel as though I missed it. I love the slothful line 'shake the low branches
on Don't Say You Understand by cuddlytiger17
21 May 2004, 11:02 PM
There is so much more that could have been displayed here. It seems you focus your words like a bullet, but you limit the meaning by using a weak hand gun.
he gained an enemy,
Lost a love, and destroyed himself
All in the same day
Oh yeah, I do understand. Those lines are beautiful. I have. March 7th 2004. -9-
he gained an enemy,
Lost a love, and destroyed himself
All in the same day
Oh yeah, I do understand. Those lines are beautiful. I have. March 7th 2004. -9-
on Dial Tone by cuddlytiger17
21 May 2004, 11:35 PM
hmmm...
seems a little lacking of... Something... Like substance, not so much depth more... purpose or drive, but I'm looking for a better word...
Damn it.
Someone able to help me figure what this lacks?
No vote for now.
seems a little lacking of... Something... Like substance, not so much depth more... purpose or drive, but I'm looking for a better word...
Damn it.
Someone able to help me figure what this lacks?
No vote for now.
on The Unseen by cuddlytiger17
21 May 2004, 11:43 PM
Allow your eye to do the only bleeding you cause yourself. Tears work so much better...
Trust me I know...
I almost married a "cutter"
-8-
Trust me I know...
I almost married a "cutter"
-8-
on Battered and Bruised by erickvisions
21 May 2004, 11:51 PM
Saddism, bad. Pimple/Lyrics(Hint: what this really is) need work. Way too much focus on ryhme. emotion, worked it up but not in any interestingly new style. -4-
on Old Friends by sliver
21 May 2004, 11:53 PM
beautifully expression.
on Jade Milieu by Enkidu
21 May 2004, 11:55 PM
Matter Piece. Absolute Matter!!! -9-
on can't take the heat? by peaceseeker
21 May 2004, 11:58 PM
Welcome to Hell's Kitchen
on some deleted poem
21 May 2004, 11:59 PM
lol
In such a deranged way
Lose that, and EVER AGAIN!
Read it without them, your words strike a broader range, and still say exactly what you wanted them to. Perhaps another forceful ending would be better, but that really depends on your personal taste.