on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2003, 7:01 AM
insert the lines 'decked in orange marigolds/and licked with winded honey' after the 'squeak!' and then, my friend, you will have a REAL haiku.
on He Told Me Once by anitawit
2 Jan 2003, 9:17 PM
he must enjoy this torture, rapturously. if he stays to be tormented further.
on some deleted poem
5 Jan 2003, 8:38 PM
ah, settle. you pissed me off when you ran off with ornella, and i swore i'd never talk to you again. farewell, laddie! adieu!
on some deleted poem
7 Jan 2003, 10:29 PM
don't forget the wheelchair.
THOSE COME IN HANDY!!!!!
THOSE COME IN HANDY!!!!!
on some deleted poem
5 Jan 2003, 10:09 AM
aren't croupiers exclusively on craps tables? aren't they called that because of the crop they handle the dice with?
i could be wrong. our casinos out here are just babies, after all.
nice images, but needs some refining
i could be wrong. our casinos out here are just babies, after all.
nice images, but needs some refining
on Her Name was Lisa by Owner of the Sky
5 Jan 2003, 11:58 AM
Your eyes twinkled at me
Like faithless lillies;
what a great line. you make the mood very clear without falling into cliche. good job.
Like faithless lillies;
what a great line. you make the mood very clear without falling into cliche. good job.
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2003, 8:11 PM
i believe in miracles. where you from? you sexy thang:
http://fotm.rotten.com/fotm/fisting-of-t
http://fotm.rotten.com/fotm/fisting-of-t
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2003, 8:15 PM
should auld acquaintance be forgot...
maybe. but not this poem. i like very much the final resolution here.
maybe. but not this poem. i like very much the final resolution here.
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2003, 1:46 PM
mine is longer, and uses more college words.
nah nah nahnah nah!
nah nah nahnah nah!
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2003, 2:29 PM
why does this need to be seaparated by numerals? your second stanza is fragmentary--unnclear--does not resolve the subject/object described
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2003, 3:14 PM
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2003, 10:37 AM
why did i not see this before? i need to read this after more time has elapsed. i have been hooked, and my left cheek will never be the same.
on Just clubbing fur seals by <{Baba^Yaga}>
3 Jan 2003, 6:44 AM
h--i liked this very much, but it ain't a villanelle. for a tongue-in-cheek, fill-in-the-blanks look at the pattern of a villanelle, see nentwined's "killer boredom butterfly (esoteric). you gotta repeat and exchange the lines, mon frere. and it's all ababababababab rhyming. mayb baba should wright it? she's got the chops and the name for it.
just go on and change this to free verse, and leave it be. there's a few picayunes, but i'll get back to you on those.
ta.
just go on and change this to free verse, and leave it be. there's a few picayunes, but i'll get back to you on those.
ta.
on The Advent Of Monsoon by anitawit
2 Jan 2003, 9:15 PM
very evocative and viceral.
in your last line, perhaps the rains could touch/tap at/strum your window (any action as performed by a hand, as that is the metaphor you establish in the line before it)
in your last line, perhaps the rains could touch/tap at/strum your window (any action as performed by a hand, as that is the metaphor you establish in the line before it)
on unsent by Bill Z Bub
2 Jan 2003, 9:04 PM
ahh. and again. you seducer.
on Fortune cookie by INTRANSIT
3 Jan 2003, 9:02 AM
see also: 'ending' http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j