on One by adrenalize
21 Dec 2002, 9:53 PM
yeah. good idea. make love not war. why can't we all just get along? buck up, little camper, every cloud has a silver lining. here, have one point for each unoriginal stanza.
on RMAED by deep-as-a-puddle
21 Dec 2002, 9:44 PM
although this sounds like a pleasant diversion, i'll pass.
on Laughing all the way to the playground by w~* ATHENA *~w
23 Dec 2002, 7:22 AM
what exactly do you mean to do by posting others' work as your own?
anyone who wanted to read this can go here: http://www.bibble.org/misc/thefish.html
to read <i>Misc: The Fish</i>
By Marianne Moore
anyone who wanted to read this can go here: http://www.bibble.org/misc/thefish.html
to read <i>Misc: The Fish</i>
By Marianne Moore
on strange beds (1983) by Bill Z Bub
23 Dec 2002, 8:02 AM
like it
on Skin, Bone, Flesh & Blood by scitz
21 Dec 2002, 9:57 PM
um, weren't you already "skin, bone, flesh and blood"? or did i miss something?
on some deleted poem
21 Dec 2002, 10:00 PM
leave p&k (journalist) alone. he didn't touch her.
oh, yeah, sorry for your loss. have a nice score for your poem. maybe that will ease the pain a little.
oh, yeah, sorry for your loss. have a nice score for your poem. maybe that will ease the pain a little.
on Legend by ThoughtfulSoul
21 Dec 2002, 10:05 PM
nope. sorry. you were correct: your
heart has been turned to the color of nightfall.
heart has been turned to the color of nightfall.
on some deleted poem
18 Dec 2002, 7:36 PM
fruit or frui?
on some deleted poem
19 Dec 2002, 6:54 AM
ah! gazania! such beautiful patterns and colors--each different! and, responsive to the warmth and light of the sun, folding herself up at night, demurely. excellent choice!
and iris--delicate, fragrant, so temporary. nice.
3rd to last line--should it be 'now' instead of 'know'?
and iris--delicate, fragrant, so temporary. nice.
3rd to last line--should it be 'now' instead of 'know'?
on fa11ing by Bill Z Bub
18 Dec 2002, 7:33 PM
what changed?
on Frozen Angel by Ranger
18 Dec 2002, 7:42 AM
there are some lovely passages here, but some of your word choices, i disagree with. so much talk about 'heart' and 'timeless' makes it feel worn. also, i am not sure what the resolution is. i am assuming that the 'frozen angel' is a cursed lover? am i correct?
on The North Wind by Ranger
18 Dec 2002, 7:46 AM
i think the low scores are due to the fact that you have basically strung together a load of cliches. the rhyme feels forced; at first, given what you were trying to say, i thought that maybe you shouldn't try to rhyme it, but then i saw you were going for a lyric--and the rhyme still feels forced. try saying this in your own words, not with a dozen catch phrases you have heard over and over again.
does that help at all?
does that help at all?
on Holding On by Katie2
18 Dec 2002, 8:22 AM
line breaks, babycakes!
on The North Wind by Ranger
18 Dec 2002, 7:46 AM
and why did you call it the north wind anyway?
on some deleted poem
19 Dec 2002, 6:38 AM
i'm not sure what you mean here:
Mother in me, she alone
has the attributes.
Mother in me, she alone
has the attributes.
on some deleted poem
21 Dec 2002, 9:28 PM
i like your explanation. as far as i'm concerned, this is the crux of the piece:
Yes I pulled this sword out of the stone for you
Now watch me, as I use it to run you clear through.
It all comes down to this
it all hangs on that
Yes I pulled this sword out of the stone for you
Now watch me, as I use it to run you clear through.
It all comes down to this
it all hangs on that
on some deleted poem
21 Dec 2002, 9:58 PM
um, no, it won't. but for your sake, i hope i'm wrong.
on Writers Resume' by wordsy
18 Dec 2002, 7:58 AM
elude.