replying on in a singular way by daniella
9 Oct 2017, 7:33 AM
wow. i don't think i've been here in a decade. i hope all is well with you.
replying on Going to Michigan for the weekend by <~>
6 Mar 2009, 6:02 AM
it's been a long time since i've held a shuttle.
and now there's a garden, and hops, lots of hops in michigan, and all else is but a tracing of a memory
and now there's a garden, and hops, lots of hops in michigan, and all else is but a tracing of a memory
on for sue (20030815) by nentwined
9 Jul 2008, 7:47 AM
ha! thanks for the smile, k
:)
:)
replying on The Secret by ecargo
30 Sep 2006, 10:18 AM
well, it is my moniker, and i give you permission to cheat on this one...
replying on The Secret by ecargo
30 Sep 2006, 6:36 AM
ti's a tilde, so you you near rhyme "will do" or something close to that....
replying on Going to Michigan for the weekend by <~>
30 Sep 2006, 6:35 AM
thanks, ranger. i'm not sure if i can make this one work without giving away the context. i'd like to get a few more comments before i reveal it.
a friend pointed out that perhaps this one is just for me, but i'd like to be able to publish it. i knwo it needs a lot of work.
a friend pointed out that perhaps this one is just for me, but i'd like to be able to publish it. i knwo it needs a lot of work.
on Farmhouse, Southern France (storm on arrival) by Ranger
29 Sep 2006, 1:41 PM
i think you go too far, here, ranger. i know you mean 'sunflower" but solar flower reads as solar flare, to me, at first--not that it will read like that to everyone, but 'flare' is a word often quick on the heels of 'solar'.
you've got some nice descriptions here, but the language gets blustery, rather than omminous, whioch is, i think the mood you want to set for this. although, i could be wrong.
you've got some nice descriptions here, but the language gets blustery, rather than omminous, whioch is, i think the mood you want to set for this. although, i could be wrong.
on In the hollow (rough) by ecargo
29 Sep 2006, 1:39 PM
"flashing quick and crosshatched with careless
pricker scrapes;"
oooh. ooh. ooh.
pricker scrapes;"
oooh. ooh. ooh.
replying on The Secret by ecargo
29 Sep 2006, 1:38 PM
hi Ranger!
on Wet dreams by ecargo
29 Sep 2006, 1:37 PM
gorgeous language, e.
'mother bulk' sat well with me. it was the perfect image, for me, to describe the scene.
'mother bulk' sat well with me. it was the perfect image, for me, to describe the scene.
on a fresh start by *.*ReAdY To SnAp.*.
29 Sep 2006, 1:35 PM
except, lose the last line.
on a fresh start by *.*ReAdY To SnAp.*.
29 Sep 2006, 1:35 PM
the perfect pimple! 10, i say! 10!
on Colors of Me by MissUnderstood
29 Sep 2006, 1:27 PM
do you know about enjambement? it's a useful poetic device. this is an excellent start, but if you didn't end each line so suddenly, i think you could make this baby work overtime.
on the secret life of the sundew by pollywolly
29 Sep 2006, 1:26 PM
don't you mean nectar?
on After Fighting (More Blood Edit) by zodiac
27 Jan 2006, 12:14 AM
hmmm. it had a lot more power as a prose poem, zodiac. not that it's not good like this...just that there was an urgency in the paragraph that's missing here.
on Green things by ecargo
16 Jan 2006, 9:35 AM
"none to straddle worlds or shoulder skies."
is a great line.
"We break us like ice;"
is unclear; what do you mean by this?
is a great line.
"We break us like ice;"
is unclear; what do you mean by this?
replying on The nymph steals the farm-son by <~>
12 Jan 2006, 1:51 PM
i know, i know.
replying on The Hermit on the Thoroughfare by http://mulberryfairy
11 Jan 2006, 11:33 AM
kinda like Gatsby.