on Today by necroscope7
7 Jun 2002, 8:45 PM
there's a shel silverstein much like this, I think. but always a cute topic. :)
on wizard master by beakism
7 Jun 2002, 8:42 PM
this is pretty painful, honestly...
on poetry by nrevatehtni
4 Jun 2002, 4:43 PM
nice. :)
on -=Dark_Angel=- by waltfreakinwhitman
30 May 2002, 7:42 PM
cute.
on Rough & Ready by crims0ngh0st
30 May 2002, 7:40 PM
cute but unimaginative.
on Remembering Joy by ifni
30 May 2002, 7:39 PM
I really love this: especially "oh, yea, I have one - a mind and thoughts to think with it"
on the doorman by nessness
29 May 2002, 11:01 AM
almost, but doesn't quite work for me.
on destinys anguish by Adjudicator
29 May 2002, 3:17 AM
I like the "here then there"ness of the poem, but it doesn't tie together for me, nor really have much effect. As much as I like the word "envelopes" (and entwines), I think I need a clearer image or statement. Certain words felt like they were just tossed in without consideration for the rest of the poem: envelopes, zephyr, bedraggled, (pierot?). I think apostraphes where "necessary" would have helped somewhat, especially as you used (a plethora of) exclamation marks and a goodly number of commas.
on Baby Turtle Hop by ruella
29 May 2002, 3:04 AM
while this could probably be some sort of rap if filled with enough sexual energy for the music video, umm... didn't do much for me.
on unoriginal by boogah
22 May 2002, 12:28 AM
hmm. good point, but I think you could say it better.
on broken thought by spoink
14 May 2002, 3:37 AM
:heh:
on you soften me by silvertongueddevil
14 May 2002, 3:35 AM
cute. a bit unsteady in places, but overall nice. :)
on girl of eden [the shotgun approach] by boogah
14 May 2002, 1:25 AM
cute. :)
on Lonely Soul by faded_twilight
14 May 2002, 1:12 AM
bleah. :(
on life by Luke_is_Crazy
14 May 2002, 1:03 AM
cute. doesn't do much for me. I like what the first two lines could have been, maybe.