| Re: Dragon's Dream by HolyKnightOfFaith |
7-Jun-02/11:53 PM |
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one syllable shy of a haiku?
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| Re: Today by necroscope7 |
7-Jun-02/8:45 PM |
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there's a shel silverstein much like this, I think. but always a cute topic. :)
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| Re: wizard master by beakism |
7-Jun-02/8:42 PM |
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this is pretty painful, honestly...
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| Re: poetry by nrevatehtni |
4-Jun-02/4:43 PM |
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| Re: -=Dark_Angel=- by waltfreakinwhitman |
30-May-02/7:42 PM |
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| Re: Rough & Ready by crims0ngh0st |
30-May-02/7:40 PM |
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| Re: Remembering Joy by ifni |
30-May-02/7:39 PM |
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I really love this: especially "oh, yea, I have one - a mind and thoughts to think with it"
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| Re: the doorman by nessness |
29-May-02/11:01 AM |
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almost, but doesn't quite work for me.
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| Re: alone by mia |
29-May-02/11:00 AM |
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| Re: destinys anguish by Adjudicator |
29-May-02/3:17 AM |
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I like the "here then there"ness of the poem, but it doesn't tie together for me, nor really have much effect. As much as I like the word "envelopes" (and entwines), I think I need a clearer image or statement. Certain words felt like they were just tossed in without consideration for the rest of the poem: envelopes, zephyr, bedraggled, (pierot?). I think apostraphes where "necessary" would have helped somewhat, especially as you used (a plethora of) exclamation marks and a goodly number of commas.
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| Re: Baby Turtle Hop by ruella |
29-May-02/3:04 AM |
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while this could probably be some sort of rap if filled with enough sexual energy for the music video, umm... didn't do much for me.
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| Re: unoriginal by boogah |
22-May-02/12:28 AM |
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hmm. good point, but I think you could say it better.
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| Re: broken thought by spoink |
14-May-02/3:37 AM |
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| Re: you soften me by silvertongueddevil |
14-May-02/3:35 AM |
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cute. a bit unsteady in places, but overall nice. :)
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| Re: untitled by lazuli42 |
14-May-02/3:34 AM |
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| Re: Alchemy by Anemone |
14-May-02/1:44 AM |
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a well-thought statement but the execution could use a fair amount of work -- the words need to loosen up some, sound less forced...
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| Re: girl of eden [the shotgun approach] by boogah |
14-May-02/1:25 AM |
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| Re: Lonely Soul by faded_twilight |
14-May-02/1:12 AM |
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| Re: life by Luke_is_Crazy |
14-May-02/1:03 AM |
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cute. doesn't do much for me. I like what the first two lines could have been, maybe.
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| Re: #9 by mikejedw |
13-May-02/7:19 PM |
perfect. :)
why the numbering, though? [geh -- I need to make it so you can comment on comments!]
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