Re: Crimson Diaries by Jsylum	5-Jul-02/10:22 AM
the end lines made me laugh out loud and definitely made the poem for me -- I wasn't really into it until then -- I stumbled through lines 3-9.
Re: Luicidity by LucidRevelation	5-Jul-02/10:20 AM
beautiful. =)
Re: Another Faceless Vulgar by danzigg	5-Jul-02/10:19 AM
Overall, I like this, but I'm not sure where South Station is and how it relates to the rest of the piece. Also, I like a bit more cadence in what I read and I couldn't find it here.
Re: Your judge is you by dilips_10	27-Jun-02/2:49 PM
a good point, but I couldn't get into the feel of the piece.
Re: Hey! by Cha no Onna	27-Jun-02/2:48 PM
Hey, I like this. =)
Re: The MV-perience by Modulo	20-Jun-02/12:56 PM
I can't figure out the point-of-view or context for this.
Re: every bite remembers in my skin by silvertongueddevil	20-Jun-02/12:53 PM
your's is not a word. ["your is"? makes no sense] tongue plunging into cream isn't an image I grok. this poem reads jerkily, almost painfully, but... that works. I think I'd still prefer it if it flowed more easily, but. that might just be me.
Re: Waiting to understand by Cha no Onna	20-Jun-02/12:51 PM
yesterwhen? yesterwhen. I like that. the piece is interesting, but I couldn't get into it.
Re: To the Storm - A Final Prayer by Satine	20-Jun-02/12:49 PM
s1 line 4 breaks the rhythm you were building. "lightning flashes true its lies" is awkward and confusing, for me -- true can mean different things, and which it you're referring to can be taken different ways... s4 line 4 also has an extra syllable ... or if it doesn't (i'm not counting) it sure feels like it does. overall, I found the poem sweet if a bit simplistic. If I hadn't stumbled over the three things above I think I would have liked it more.
Re: i am on the carpet by silvertongueddevil	12-Jun-02/2:24 AM
this I really, really like. =)
Re: endless eternity: by Sapphire	12-Jun-02/2:22 AM
"suckles of" -> "suckles off" "natures" -> "nature's" "all the while man remains blind" -- flow seems off here. and on the next line. actually, from there down, it seems a bit off.
Re: frustration is the lamp i'm holding by silvertongueddevil	12-Jun-02/2:21 AM
cute. :)
Re: Angelic Triumvirate by Sterling5583	12-Jun-02/2:13 AM
this seems extremely forced.
Re: Fascination by ObiWonKn	12-Jun-02/2:09 AM
well put.
Re: Drinking Gravel by unknown	12-Jun-02/2:07 AM
I have to give this one a definite thumbs "huh?".
Re: Lowest Common Currency by unknown	12-Jun-02/12:37 AM
erm, huh?
Re: A Storm For Me by KatieKaBoom	12-Jun-02/12:36 AM
(it's == it is; its == possessive) cute. I like the dark tint to it; think you could develop that.
Re: For settle by gothwalk	12-Jun-02/12:25 AM
third line falters for me with "that the" -- it's hard to read it with the proper stress. the rest is cute... though sixty-nine packets?
Re: Summertime by KatieKaBoom	10-Jun-02/6:24 PM
I don't get the "and so clearly defined" in the context of the rest of the piece.
Re: Eggshells in Wet Grass by ObiWonKn	8-Jun-02/3:40 PM
interesting. i find my thoughts dancing through it. :)