on Orange by lindseyis
9 Jul 2002, 5:58 PM
very cute. reminds me of an exercise in berkeley's lower division poetry course. :)
on Digital Remembery by ifni
9 Jul 2002, 4:24 PM
hmm. ones and zeros are sort of the opposite of quantum, so far as I understand things. quantum is beyond fuzzy. beyond that, though, this is rather nice. :)
on If We Lived by ZCatcher
9 Jul 2002, 4:23 PM
very cute and very sweet. cool. :)
on To Mother by lynnstratton
9 Jul 2002, 3:15 PM
very beautiful, though I'm no theist.
on i've got this song stuck in my head by silvertongueddevil
9 Jul 2002, 11:35 AM
I like the flow to this. :) just before the end it peters out a bit, but I like the punchline. :)
on Office Worker angst by Adriaan
9 Jul 2002, 11:23 AM
well put. very terse, but somehow still pleasant.
on incidentally, all royalties to the estate of WCW by lilli
9 Jul 2002, 11:21 AM
I don't get it, but it seems like it would be nice if I did...
on mother venus by elmundo
9 Jul 2002, 3:12 AM
ecstasy?
effigy.
cute, overall. pleasant.
effigy.
cute, overall. pleasant.
on would i be considered crazy by silvertongueddevil
9 Jul 2002, 3:08 AM
that's pretty cool. I think you would be considered rather crazy. :) I like, though.
on just like the jagged dagger by Angel_of_fait
9 Jul 2002, 3:07 AM
"cannot speak no more" do you mean "can speak no more/cannot speak any more"? sliceing -> slicing. barried -> buried. hurt's shouldn't have an apostrophe. apostrophes replace letters. (and until has one l).
I'm having trouble getting what you're saying; I keep getting hung up on little confusions: "beneath my shallow bends" -- what are your bends? shallow? why does cutting your feet bruise you? wouldn't it bleed you instead? red? The comparison to the dagger is vague... if you're the dagger, then aren't you using yourself to use yourself to use yourself to use yourself against yourself?
I can remember being 14 in texas. (port arthur) I don't really want to. :)
I'm having trouble getting what you're saying; I keep getting hung up on little confusions: "beneath my shallow bends" -- what are your bends? shallow? why does cutting your feet bruise you? wouldn't it bleed you instead? red? The comparison to the dagger is vague... if you're the dagger, then aren't you using yourself to use yourself to use yourself to use yourself against yourself?
I can remember being 14 in texas. (port arthur) I don't really want to. :)
on trapoide by Angel_of_fait
9 Jul 2002, 3:02 AM
definitely confusioned. :)
fatality, unless you're punning off of fate? and I don't get "so know it comes" as know or now... they both lose me. illousion doesn't have the first o. and I can't even begin to guess what "trapoide" is.
I'd say this is more freeform than ode.
fatality, unless you're punning off of fate? and I don't get "so know it comes" as know or now... they both lose me. illousion doesn't have the first o. and I can't even begin to guess what "trapoide" is.
I'd say this is more freeform than ode.
on Through the eyes of life by Angel_of_fait
9 Jul 2002, 3:00 AM
until has one l.
I don't understand "of mind".
our hearts *were* beating
hase -> has.
se -> see.
a cute poem, but didn't really move me.
I don't understand "of mind".
our hearts *were* beating
hase -> has.
se -> see.
a cute poem, but didn't really move me.
on Whispers of the Night by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
8 Jul 2002, 9:23 PM
so long as you're still having fun. :)
actually, I rather like "the air is brown with sound".
actually, I rather like "the air is brown with sound".
on Let's Do a Test by GAC
8 Jul 2002, 7:55 PM
very cute. :) [note: whate'er, not whate're]
on untitled by venusdemilo
8 Jul 2002, 5:32 PM
I like what you're saying here a lot, but stumble through how you say it.
on Bitch! by venusdemilo
8 Jul 2002, 5:21 PM
cute, but doesn't do much for me.
on lurcher for lunch - for James Kelman by roy rocket
5 Jul 2002, 1:48 PM
cute, but I've seen better...
on Crimson Diaries by Jsylum
5 Jul 2002, 10:22 AM
the end lines made me laugh out loud and definitely made the poem for me -- I wasn't really into it until then -- I stumbled through lines 3-9.