Listen,
If any mother's child dies
It does not matter how.
Wicked is wicked anyway you slice it. Let us say my boy
Yes my sweet boy Cancer maybe?
Or prejudice?

Sappy is as Sappy does

Can I fuck myself even if I like what you're saying? I've gotten pretty good at fucking myself, but wait I don't like what you're saying so I guess the point is moot. seriously, don't take it personally, it's the poems we're talking about here not you. If I remember correctly you submitted that thing about beauty, right? I didn't read the other comments, so I don't know what they wrote, but I was trying to be constructive, and I think I can presume they were also. Most of what I write is honest, even if it is biting, just like all the rest, I'm trying to have a good time and just writing for the sake of hitting the little keys and hearing that lovely clacking sound. It's an exercise it what I love most int he world(If you don't count fucking myself)Remember, some here have mad skills and just go off because they're so damn good at it. Buy the book, A Sense of Humor For Dummies it will cost you 20 smackers, but it's worth it.

If no one understands then how is it you can write this... I dunno, "poem", I guess? Also butterflies are beautiful on the outside. Maybe write about geodes, no that's stupid too, come-up with some new analogies, pleeeaaase!(I'm one to talk, I'm all goo-goo-eyed at the moment and can't invent anything substansial)

Touche, mon ami, mon frere. '... find that tether between men and my wild stance' ' I roar for your warm blood' ' covering your death face...' very good, excellent. Last Stanza I love, especially as an ending. Good structure. What's " 'ntil " I've never seen that before?

Great poem, love the personification of faith, and the hand towels. You're a genius when you wanna, a poet always. Kisses.

Very funny. "Plight" doesn't belong somehow, but the end makes up for it. I LOL, really I did.

You lose your rythmn in the last two stanzas, also bringing up the word rape is unneccessary and detracts from the sweetness of the piece. Leave it out, we all know what your capable of, and your saying it never entered your mind and mentioning it is a huge contradication. It had to have entered your mind even in the form of thinking you could never do such a thing. The poem relies on it, even for the audience, it enters our minds the minute we understand she's passed out.

Oh, so you know which lives are worth saving and which aren't? Interesting. This isn't poetry, it's a manifesto. I think short story or any prose form is more your style.

It should read "bruisies"(justkidding)get rid of 'and' at the end of L3.

You have an eye for what matters, now can you possibly make these lines sing? Too prosy, too conversational.

Mr. Pig, Mr. Pig, you overwhelm
Like a waltz with too much structure, you send me
spinning round the room.

Less is sometimes more.
But still I love you so
I hate to upset this unique cart.

I have a problem with 'infinitesimal'. Otherwise perfect, especially the last stanza.

I have a problem with 'that' in the 3rd-to-last line. Could it be "will" or perhaps just move straight to slowly?

Don't like the ... after own; mis-leading. Edit out 'my universe'.

There's an abrupt change between truck and car at the end, it disturbs this otherwise excellent poem.

Sorry, I just don't get it, it's to clever for me and I have these stupid love-blinders on and they won't come off. Last three lines 1st stanza and game show eyes-8

Nice

You can write anything. I say we send our resumes to Madison Ave.

Sweet dear child, this poem of yours, what can I possibly say? Despite her obvious faults she is a true real beauty. "She pasted away" here you have stumpled onto the genius of words. Good for you, she needs an edit, the way a lovely girl could use a good haircut and a decent pair of shoes.