Quite flattering, and astounding. How you young darlings manage incest so instictively, and everyone makes us believe it's evil. God bless Jacko for sleeping close to the kiddies, and God bless Settle for his abnormal brilliant warp.

The forty nights were spent in the desert months before the resurrection. Again the title doesn't jive for me. I think the haiku works very well intil the last line. Too preachy. Tell me something nuetral at the end, to give the blood more power.

The last stanza is accurate and frightening. "lies limp as broken veins" was such a hard image to try and grasp, it distracted me too much. Place the last stanza first and then re-write.

Very good, but the tense is mixed up. It's either 'comes' or 'Sun bled........silver assasin appeared".

"Dusking" and "same sky" you have crossed the thresh-hold, my favorite poem of yours.

A precious poem. Oh, how needing I am of the contrary point of view. This is a great poem, especially when spoken aloud. The last couplet's a true killer. I think you are under appreciated, congratulations, the world knows nothing of its greatest men.

Blood on the tracks. I swear, you're on to something. Find find find.

fix the end, otherwise perfect. Less is more, more is more. I'm a whore.

Bada beam Bada boom.

It's Gardener. Some if these are hysterica,l especially the first.

You are a writer no doubt. Stupid boy, believing you could change even one thing. They will laugh at you, naive and idealistic. This is not so much a man's world, as a cynic's. Good dear boy, speak, and I shall listen. There are many things expressed here which are beyond the comprehension of fools. Pay no attention to the half-wits. Speak your speak. Bang your fists against the keys, I'm listening.

I love the last line. I can picture it, you know the look on his face as he's trying to swallow. Wonderful.

WOW. This is great. I love it. Must have a better title. "Revelation" or pick up the damn book and take a look at that last chapter, just flip the pages, a title might just pop out at you.
How would you feel about taking out 'the'in L2? It would bring the count short by one, but it would make up for it in content. What do you think?

Great satire, brilliant lines S2. If you were trying to make fun, you failed. You just gave his craft that much more thrust. reving engines, power drive.

Ends badly. Like the cake, you have stained a well crafted thing. I love L2,S2, though I'm sure I'm not interpreting it the way you meant. I would end this poem at "ALL MY DANCING..."

Fascinating. Awkward. "You are not you" doesn't make sense here and detracts from what you're saying. it would seem he is what he is, and you have discribed it. I like the sort of dumb way this is written. Even the illiterate have insights. Can you find something more interesting for 'well-muscled'?

Change the tense of the last line. Somehow "appears" works for this. Some new pressent beginning.Death of day, and then a moon right now.

You should write a poem about a woman who is such a psycho telephone stalker, people have to change their home phone numbers to avoid the bitch. Never mind, you'd do a crappy job because you're a terrible writer, and an even worse human being.

Sorry I missed this. Very fine. Some tiny edits, I'll let you know. But otherwise an insightful tale.

Hmmm, it was the jews who laughed, the romans were completely uninterested. I prefer blood to wine, though the tie in with supper is a good one. The title invokes a different scene. Right a haiku about the action in the title, keep this one and give it a different title. Judas is one of my favorite characters in this myth. Keep exploring him. Have you seen The Last Temptation of Christ?