on I hate people by Bazilla
16 Sep 2002, 3:04 PM
I don't hate you, but I hate this poem. Stop wasting time beating the air. Not to mention this lacks anyhting resembling charm
on crispy by skaskowski
15 Sep 2002, 10:22 PM
why's it called crispy if it's crunchy? S.O.g.
on A black sanded tropical vision by horus8
16 Sep 2002, 8:35 PM
I sense aloof pain. Which is a man's territory. "That 5 yr old's shadow stretches on" Truth.
on Fuck the stars by Patrice727
15 Sep 2002, 12:37 PM
Satellite.
on Faucet's got a nasty drip. FUCK! Not again! by <{Baba^Yaga}>
15 Sep 2002, 7:58 PM
Not up to your high standards.
on lovely by pink_punk_kisses87
16 Sep 2002, 5:42 PM
Who is this person? Start there. mother, sister, friend. Watch can become so many other things; attend, regard, mark, glimpse, etc... use a thesaurus it's your best friend. You'll hear some idiots spout stupidities about the illegitimacy of using one. Don't listen. All good poets use them. Infact try to find an old used thesaurus that isn't organized alphabetically. Take to reading it. That's an education.
" I mark your sleep. The lovely brown of your hair./ Your hands like..... It takes hours upon hours to work out a poem. The ones that come spontaneously are gifts, and have little to do witht he writers craft. Don't give up.
" I mark your sleep. The lovely brown of your hair./ Your hands like..... It takes hours upon hours to work out a poem. The ones that come spontaneously are gifts, and have little to do witht he writers craft. Don't give up.
on Mountain Ash, Mid Glamorgan by Nicholas Jones
16 Sep 2002, 2:23 PM
More than like, I love. 10 fully earned.
on Morning Conversation by lexicon
15 Sep 2002, 9:03 PM
Not bad not bad. More space-age living. I'd would have liked a metaphor or two, but that's just me. I wait for them the way a child waits or candy.
on God and Country by dougsoderstrom
16 Sep 2002, 7:34 AM
Amen. Excellent. Folk-art at it's very best. May I print and share?
on bitterness to tenderness to endlessness by Crakyamuni
15 Sep 2002, 1:15 PM
No joy to read. Improves slighty as you go, but no go. Dogs in deep trances? What dinner show is that?
on On waiting to pick up my daughter on Tuesday by poetandknowit
15 Sep 2002, 1:21 PM
Shouldn't there be a comma after <same>? Also <that> seems unnecessary.
on Faucet's got a nasty drip. FUCK! Not again! by <{Baba^Yaga}>
15 Sep 2002, 9:52 PM
this is god's wifes son (god's son) gods and gods wife's little devil chid
on On waiting to pick up my daughter on Tuesday by poetandknowit
15 Sep 2002, 10:14 PM
she sounds cute can i take her out on a date? (spwan of god'swife)
on How? Well... by RWAndersen
15 Sep 2002, 12:42 PM
Choppy. Polish won't add to her shine? Dreadful analogy to lay on a person.
You're beginning analogy is anything but poetic. May I suggest a Brazilian wax to rid her of those pokey sharps and splinters. Stupid. By the way this "thing" you've posted makes it glaringly obvious you are a terrible lay. 1.... which is more than those poor 48 would rank you in bed.
on No sally, lay your troubles to bed by Crakyamuni
15 Sep 2002, 1:10 PM
Oh worshipper of the sacred Budda, go back to the creamery. What this is is what it was and shall forever be, caca.
on winter every day (Don't bother reading this) by unknown
13 Sep 2002, 4:59 PM
Could be a real gem if you polished it. The last stanza i think is the best and could stay as is. Can you describe the smell of her pillow?
on some deleted poem
13 Sep 2002, 5:14 PM
I think I saw Gloria Swanson act out this poem in a silent movie once. Sheer and unadulterated melodrama. Not just bad but super-bad.