on The Fonz Koan by zen_tom
7 Nov 2005, 4:52 AM
Not haiku.
on When Did You Walk Away? by TLRufener
7 Nov 2005, 5:20 AM
I know you use your poetry to convey your thoughts and experiences and wish to make an accurate account of your life and times and everything, but did you know that in 61 poems you've asked an astonishing 83 questions? Do you plan on ever answering anything?
on tourist by skaskowski
6 Nov 2005, 4:36 AM
Regarding the poem: I don't think she redecorates by keeping (or reinstalling) the original fixtures, which I assume is what tourists do in old country places. It needs a different word.
Regarding tourists: Mid-desert, they will unfailingly find the biggest patch of sunlight and stand in it, blinking.
Regarding tourists: Mid-desert, they will unfailingly find the biggest patch of sunlight and stand in it, blinking.
on The Old Boat by Damon Mower
6 Nov 2005, 4:40 AM
Good except the last line.
on To The Modern Black Standard by ALChemy
6 Nov 2005, 4:31 AM
You must mean Billie Holiday singing "gimme a pigsfoot and a bottle of beer" as written by a Jew.
Try Nina Simone:
You know I smoked a lot of grass, Oh Lord, I popped a lot of pills
But I never did touch nothing that my spirit couldn't kill
You know I see a lot of people walkin' round here with tombstones in their eyes
'Cause the pusher don't care, child, if you live or if you die
God damn on the pusher,
I said God damn him
God damn him, pusher man
You have to hear it. When Nina says God damn, you know God's paying attention.
Try Nina Simone:
You know I smoked a lot of grass, Oh Lord, I popped a lot of pills
But I never did touch nothing that my spirit couldn't kill
You know I see a lot of people walkin' round here with tombstones in their eyes
'Cause the pusher don't care, child, if you live or if you die
God damn on the pusher,
I said God damn him
God damn him, pusher man
You have to hear it. When Nina says God damn, you know God's paying attention.
on The Bed I Made by BrandonW
6 Nov 2005, 4:55 AM
A: Divide the total number of times she's walked through the door by the total number of times she could potentially have walked through the door. The second number should be very high.
A: Just make them up. We won't know the difference.
A: Use mnemonics, like
I knew
at precisely two
-or-
She left at four
because she's a whore.
Of course, that doesn't help if you've already forgotten what time precisely you knew. You might try hypnosis, or keeping a daily planner.
A: In the dark, preferably crouching.
A: Just make them up. We won't know the difference.
A: Use mnemonics, like
I knew
at precisely two
-or-
She left at four
because she's a whore.
Of course, that doesn't help if you've already forgotten what time precisely you knew. You might try hypnosis, or keeping a daily planner.
A: In the dark, preferably crouching.
on Sonata for Robin and Poet by Dovina
8 Nov 2005, 6:11 AM
Not your best. I suggest you seem to know a lot about how poets think and act while simultaneously holding the belief that poetry is not something requiring training, effort, or skill while simultaneously writing crap poetry about it.
on I LOVE A PROSTITUTE by Bhaskaryya
8 Nov 2005, 6:22 AM
1) You can't love someone by wanting to return her innocence and respect. That means you love someone with innocence and respect who she is not - yet.
2) You can be pretty sure she doesn't love you. Or even feel you, technically.
2) You can be pretty sure she doesn't love you. Or even feel you, technically.
on some deleted poem
9 Nov 2005, 7:24 AM
I'd like to think the title was intentional, like Joey on Friends going, How youu douuin'?
on some deleted poem
9 Nov 2005, 7:26 AM
Getting better. But seriously, do you have NO 21st century images to draw on?
on Forgive Me by TLRufener
9 Nov 2005, 7:28 AM
You are here because someone told you you need to ask forgiveness for practically everything you do. Now that you have an answer, I hope you'll consider getting off your knees and going outside.
on drunken jill by calliope
12 Nov 2005, 1:35 AM
Not as good as the last one.
on my you have a bubbly laugh by skaskowski
12 Nov 2005, 1:37 AM
I like warbly. The rest can go.
on some deleted poem
12 Nov 2005, 1:40 AM
Congratulations on ABAB rhyming. You're one of, like, 5 poemranker users who can do that now.
on Us Sinners by BrandonW
13 Nov 2005, 12:55 AM
Question: Could a God who by most accounts is all things, including all-forgiving, really allow a soul to go to Hell for eternity?
on not to settle for less than almost obliteration by ay deee
13 Nov 2005, 12:55 AM
"consumptive" is a great word, but probably not what you meant.
on Farm animals by INTRANSIT
13 Nov 2005, 12:56 AM
I liked the butcher block better, and thought it was sensible enough. This is okay, though, if it satisfies everyone else.