on Veins of spilt wine. by SupremeDreamer
18 Jul 2004, 1:56 PM
Cheer up love. "Rogue of the gallows" made me giggle a bit. Otherwise, que tu es formidable. (How you are formidable).
on The Nude by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
16 Jul 2004, 1:26 AM
I dunno, it was a bit stupid but could be brilliant if you altered the last stanza.
I spose.
I spose.
on The Beautiful Chase by smlink84
16 Jul 2004, 1:27 AM
No love for this verse.
on some deleted poem
15 Jul 2004, 9:14 AM
Like it. Nice form. Odd but could work, given tweaks from experts.
on some deleted poem
11 Jul 2004, 2:35 AM
Cruelly, I stopped reading at strife. But the first verse was good. :\
on some deleted poem
12 Mar 2004, 5:05 AM
Eight, because the last line was bitchy. Stop that.
on some deleted poem
12 Mar 2004, 5:17 AM
I love the stone/home rhyme. Comforting end.
on Disgusting Stickmen by Bobjim
25 Mar 2004, 9:27 AM
This is concrete poetry.
on Sonnet on an Operating Table by Sasha
4 Jul 2004, 2:06 AM
Loved things like ": a knife", but please uncensor the beeps, as it were, it's like being at a clown party to be punctuated like this.
on some deleted poem
6 Apr 2004, 10:48 AM
Sadly, like Zodiac, I beklieve you could have cut the last four lines or so. "Windy sculptor" just doesn't sit. But otherwise the language is lively and engaging.
on The Hell With Growing Up by wilco
7 Apr 2004, 7:40 AM
Personally, I dislike cancer being used as a metaphor, especially for something like time because to me, the two things are entirely different. But this is hardly a constructive criticism.
The final line isn't poetic but the sentiment could go very far and the couplet structure is probably the best form for it. Excellent start but as yet I consider it a bit of a rough gem.
The final line isn't poetic but the sentiment could go very far and the couplet structure is probably the best form for it. Excellent start but as yet I consider it a bit of a rough gem.
on some deleted poem
7 Apr 2004, 10:36 AM
'A partner for the race'?
on this old man (edit) by Bill Z Bub
7 May 2004, 1:35 AM
The first stanza is too much - I daren't say over-written - but the second has a ring to it.
on Starting Over by justjay
7 May 2004, 1:36 AM
Sadly, I kinda like it. But have you ever seen an abyss?
on Desire by Chasz Misleading
9 Jun 2004, 1:42 PM
Naked and Bloody. Really? Sucks to be You, then, I spose.
on some deleted poem
14 May 2004, 2:05 AM
Someone got bored whilst studying "The Highwayman"? I actually quite like it, but don't tell anyone. I think I think the structure but not the content, and they don't fit together is all.
on Redemption by leigh137
14 Sep 2004, 10:53 AM
I think wrong/right should be right/wrong so that it doesn't rhyme. I like how chatty it is. :)
on some deleted poem
15 Sep 2004, 9:03 AM
I'm terribly sorry to have to tell you that you've misspelt peice. I assume it wasn't intentional?
"no arm's/no arms' way out"
somewhere after "is Art a way" and "root on the spot".