on Grandma by Dovina
3 Nov 2004, 6:43 PM
I hear that arthritis is painful.
on Old Man by Rollsoftoiletpaper
10 Oct 2004, 7:18 PM
Seems to be about an abusive father. Not bad. I would maybe change this "How dare you say that I've
done anything wrong in my life." , but otherwise, not bad at all.
done anything wrong in my life." , but otherwise, not bad at all.
on Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17
10 Oct 2004, 7:26 PM
If this were free verse I'd probably give it a 4 but since you called it a pimple I'll give you a 7.
on some deleted poem
27 Oct 2004, 7:40 PM
I'm just curious as to whether or not you ever put music to your lyrics. Not a bad one, btw.
on Who is deserving of all my love by zodiac
27 Oct 2004, 7:49 PM
I'm glad to see you writing again. I wish you'd spend as much time writing as you do attempting to make Poemranker newbies feel bad about themselves. You're not half bad, is what I'm trying to say.
on Everglades parkway by INTRANSIT
3 Nov 2004, 7:04 PM
As with the first timeI read this (quite a while back, I think), I like it.
on some deleted poem
3 Nov 2004, 7:07 PM
Pretty good ed, but the fowl language thing is awful.
on some deleted poem
3 Nov 2004, 6:46 PM
Not bad sentiment but if you expect me to take the ime to read it, you could at least take the time to proofread and put the correct puncuation in the poem. Is inasmuch a word?
on An Arrow and a Knife by blues
3 Nov 2004, 6:49 PM
sorry
on some deleted poem
3 Nov 2004, 7:01 PM
I've been away from the ranker for a while and now that I've come back, I'm glad to read to pretty good poems. This being one (of not that many actually).
on some deleted poem
3 Nov 2004, 6:53 PM
Not your best, but not your worst either. I have grown to dislike this style of writing wih his writing scheme....oh well
on Draw Me A Pretty Picture by cuddlytiger17
3 Nov 2004, 7:10 PM
If anyone else wrote this I'd probably just pas it by or write something mean, but I seem to have a soft spot in my heart for you cuddlytiger17. The reason I guess is that you keep trying and, God bless you, you're actually getting better
on some deleted poem
19 Jan 2005, 4:59 PM
I really liked this up until the last verse. It was a nice(dark)picture of the outdoors and then bring people into it. I'm not wild about that. People always muck things up. I'd give it an 8 w/o that.
on some deleted poem
19 Jan 2005, 5:03 PM
A little 'self-helpy' for my taste, but well said.
on A Picture For Danny by Caducus
19 Jan 2005, 5:07 PM
Now, this is pretty good, I think. I think it would flow better if you omitted the lines "Cathy asked her daddy" and "To which he replied".
Making it read something like this:
'Where did Daniel go when he died?'
'Your picture princess'
Cathy smiled
as her dad fought back tears.
I don't mean to rewrite it because it's good as is. It's just an idea...
Making it read something like this:
'Where did Daniel go when he died?'
'Your picture princess'
Cathy smiled
as her dad fought back tears.
I don't mean to rewrite it because it's good as is. It's just an idea...
on Cancer by tangerinepuddle
19 Jan 2005, 5:09 PM
Now, normally I try to give at least constructive criticism if not positive, but I don't see anything that could make this better. Sorry, try again.
on Hate the Contestant by Blindpoetry
19 Jan 2005, 5:11 PM
I agree with you on this, although I'm no fan of the Bush White House. I'm not sure what to vote on this, though. Michael Moore is an idiot, as are all the musicians and actors who put their foot in their mouth on a daily basis, but...what are you gonna do...
on Revaluations by Beyond_Dreams
19 Jan 2005, 5:16 PM
I can't really give you any advice. Take Macs advice.
on some deleted poem
19 Jan 2005, 5:42 PM
ok, made me chuckle a bit.