on So Easy by InWonderLand
5 Nov 2006, 8:07 PM
This poem doesen't hold any water. I have nothing to sink my teeth into; only a dim, colorless confessional atmosphere that is totally out of place. Give me some life!
on some deleted poem
7 Nov 2006, 5:53 PM
You're kidding, right?
If you're going to use archaisms, at least have the sense to know how to use them. "Doth," whose usefulness died with the last perfunctory wannabe romantic, is a singular form of "do" and therefore cannot have a plural subject. "Where rats doth go" makes you sound nothing but pretentious. Anyone who rhymes death with breath is really not adept with verbal gymnastics.
"I fear" is the most forced of rhymes in this poem, closely by "snow/go/so"
If you're going to use archaisms, at least have the sense to know how to use them. "Doth," whose usefulness died with the last perfunctory wannabe romantic, is a singular form of "do" and therefore cannot have a plural subject. "Where rats doth go" makes you sound nothing but pretentious. Anyone who rhymes death with breath is really not adept with verbal gymnastics.
"I fear" is the most forced of rhymes in this poem, closely by "snow/go/so"
on Summer Song by wilco
31 Aug 2005, 3:42 PM
The lines seem too long for the subject matter they contain
on some deleted poem
7 Sep 2005, 9:00 AM
I AM AMAZED. Not only did you infuse this excellent parody with utter crap as you have so brilliantly done in the past, but YOU EVEN VOTED ON YOU OWN POEM, thereby increasing the level of absurdity giving it, once again, a well deserved -10-
on some deleted poem
7 Sep 2005, 9:04 AM
I'm disappointed, now I can't laugh at anything but the general triteness. For that you get an 8.
on some deleted poem
7 Sep 2005, 9:05 AM
AGAIN with the voting on your own poem. You're on a roll.
on some deleted poem
6 Sep 2005, 9:24 AM
Beautiful. A wonderful parody of the kind of crap teenagers seem to churn out. You've managed to mimic the brain-dead internet "i'm" and added that special flavor of mediocrity with such brilliantly planted cunt-spellings as "your" for "you're," "everytime" for "every time," "loyality," "royality," "deceave." In short, everything from the pervasive triteness to the rhythms limp as geriatric penis shows how ingeniously you have studied teenage doggerel and how faithfully and convincingly you can mimic and parody it. A well deserved 10.
on some deleted poem
6 Sep 2005, 9:30 AM
Another excellent parody. Keep up the good work!
on some deleted poem
8 Sep 2005, 11:03 AM
You are hurting the internet.
on Pink BAlls by EAger to Offend
20 Apr 2007, 9:56 PM
Ha
on What it Feels Like by laurahenn2010
20 Apr 2007, 10:00 PM
You rhymed kiss and bliss. That alone earns you the great award of "cliché." You also refer to bliss as heavenly. This earns the award of "overt cliché." You use absolutely no novel imagery or language or even display the slightest awareness that a poem is a form of artwork.
In other words, this is a bad poem for just about every reason a poem can be bad.
-2- for effort
In other words, this is a bad poem for just about every reason a poem can be bad.
-2- for effort
on What it Feels Like by laurahenn2010
20 Apr 2007, 10:03 PM
You also had poor enough taste to VOTE ON YOUR OWN POEM ANONYMOUSLY.
on The Corner Tavern by jessicazee
20 Apr 2007, 10:04 PM
It's like mallarmé , but without the musicality and with a damp lyricism.
on Always there by holliebollie_19
22 Apr 2007, 5:35 AM
cliché
on HATE by forsaken'sbigbro
15 Nov 2007, 2:54 PM
Pitiful
Voting on your own poems.
Insecurity is sooooo hot. OMG ur like a starving artist ZOMG
Voting on your own poems.
Insecurity is sooooo hot. OMG ur like a starving artist ZOMG
on Winter Moon by Musicman
28 Oct 2007, 10:44 PM
Starlit night: Cliché
Nightly gloom: Redundant cliché
Find a less cliché word than "Ghostly"
Other than that, not bad
Nightly gloom: Redundant cliché
Find a less cliché word than "Ghostly"
Other than that, not bad
on Flood Land, East Kentucky by zodiac
17 Apr 2010, 10:29 PM
You should totally come back!!