on untitled by nicole081083
15 Aug 2005, 1:17 PM
Dull
on sad moments by rbooey
15 Aug 2005, 1:26 PM
Please, fix the misspellings. You don't have anything exciting or artful here, just a dull meditation on the afterlife. I have been forced to read many, many poems like this and smile indulgently at their authors and say "it's nice." Online, however, I have no compunction about telling you that this poem is worthless. I mean that as no offense, I'm just telling you what I think.
on some deleted poem
15 Aug 2005, 1:49 PM
Now this is just plain fecal
on Poem for a Snowstorm by crooked_smile
16 Aug 2005, 5:59 PM
This is a bad apostrophe
on Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim
21 Aug 2005, 6:37 AM
Powerful, could use some tighter language. But powerful
on some deleted poem
20 Aug 2005, 11:16 PM
A bit too angsty for my taste, a bit like a suicidal teenager at 1:00 a.m.
on some deleted poem
21 Aug 2005, 10:32 AM
It feels like your telling too much and not showing enough
on GIRL IN THE RED DRESS by prettyktm
21 Aug 2005, 10:35 AM
Good job, feels like you could do more with expressive and novel language, but the poem did its job very well and there are some beautiful places.
on Mystical Chinese Dragon by that_funny_girl
21 Aug 2005, 1:07 PM
Good, except for the soppy parts about love and friendship and being there when you're down. It may be what you feel, but objectively it weakens the strength of the poem. 8 for overall quality
on Letter from Palermo by Caducus
23 Aug 2005, 11:06 AM
Hurts my brain, but worth it
on My question is...... by Annie
25 Aug 2005, 9:36 AM
This poem doesen't tell me anything besides what I've heard a thousand times. If you must do so, and it's okay if you do, then please, please use less outworn language. "Savior" for example needn't be here. You repeat yourself over and over and over. Say something more!!!
on some deleted poem
27 Aug 2005, 10:40 PM
Feels Very much like Lorca
on California triolets by zodiac
27 Aug 2005, 10:42 PM
This is pure music!
on some deleted poem
28 Aug 2005, 9:53 PM
Too many abstractions especially at the beginning. A few needless adverbs too. Otherwise, nice.
on Emily Gray by Enkidu
28 Aug 2005, 9:39 PM
Feels a bit empty for something so full.
on some deleted poem
29 Aug 2005, 2:52 AM
Riddled with clichés and full of the early teenage wrangling I've read before in a dozen mediocre poems. Please, use your poem as a way to make your experience appear unique, not as a way to make it seem the same as others.
on Out of a White Hole by ALChemy
31 Aug 2005, 3:15 PM
I think you extended the metaphor beyond its shelf-life. It feels cluttered by abstractions to fill in the places where imagination fails. Other than that good.
on Geraldine Florentine, MD by T. Jonathron Remp
31 Aug 2005, 12:34 PM
Music but what else