Re: leavetaking by daniella	some deleted user 146.201.32.78	23-May-04/8:31 AM
...silver yeas? (years?) graceful, nostalgic
Re: screaming in silence by siyado	zodiac 65.161.41.48	23-May-04/9:26 AM
When you're "screaming in silence" is your mouth actually producing some kind of, I don't know, anti-sound that is inaudible to everyone, or are you just screaming out loud somewhere really far away from other people? If your answer is the first one, how do you know the sound you're not producing is a scream? What if it's more like, say, a moan - or a pleasant sustained middle A sharp? Or what if you're just holding your mouth really wide and slowly exhaling while people passing on the street wonder what the heck you're doing?
Re: leavetaking by daniella	zodiac 65.161.41.48	23-May-04/9:36 AM
Some of these clauses, especially in the third stanza, seem poorly grouped. The last is weird, too. "they" is really poorly defined, and the string of grotesquely conjoined similes and subordinate clauses that make up the rest of that sentence don't help.
Re: Pushed to the limit of everything...Everything... by Hostileintent	zodiac 65.161.41.48	23-May-04/9:42 AM
New form proposal: The Poemranker. Halfway through it decides to rhyme, forgets, then decides to again.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 65.161.41.48	23-May-04/9:45 AM
Most of the lines of this poem should be printed in white courier on black t-shirts. You could sell them at the mall. PS-Why do all of your poems end with a long underscore?
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 65.161.41.48	23-May-04/9:52 AM
The poems in the most recent New Yorker are worse than at least half the poems posted here. If that's the real world, we should all be kings.
Re: The Winturd Tale of Sir Donald Nudesby by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	Bachus 24.130.62.63	23-May-04/11:02 AM
You going to send be that Mp3? You know, The Werewolves and I do a really bitchin' version of the Crutchling electrified now 'tis very cool. The Mp3's not going to blow off my face is it?
Re: Ten by horus8	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.217.140	23-May-04/11:13 AM
A donut lying next to a maple bar on a plate next to linen-wrapped silverware after a weight watcher meeting when you find out you've gained__ lbs.
Re: Oh No! by foothangingoutofass	edpeterson 68.79.27.79	23-May-04/1:34 PM
by far the best poem i have read on this site. -0-
regarding some deleted poem...	Fire_is_cool 65.100.213.166	23-May-04/2:01 PM
Ya I know that it's lame.
regarding some deleted poem...	Blindpoetry 68.106.171.15	23-May-04/2:08 PM
what? no title? I dun think you can falsly die, eh? *shrugs* ... Nothing special... just the same cliche love poem like everyone else writes about in similar words and phrases to the point of being whenthe next time you write a love poem, it'll be considered plagarism...
Re: Ricochets (Double Ethere) by MacFrantic	Dan garcia-Black 64.161.177.233	23-May-04/5:48 PM
Nice form. Well executed. Content eludes me. Maybe that's a good thing. I rarely like a poem at first 10 reads. Maybe by line 10-1 I'll get it.
regarding some deleted poem...	Bachus 24.130.62.63	23-May-04/6:16 PM
Secada (Cheeza Weeza) by Horus8 Bumm! Bumm, Secada! bow'ls along the ground! And grumble as your gasses multiply. Chaps! Chaps! Secada! Shake your genital Herpe (and be glad you don't have AIDS) With chings that flirr for noise and not too gay! Shrill Jesu might hear! You've only days away Till you hump your own buttocks and wait again to gay! Seventeen days, babbooned in babboonery you parfait, And ripen where the scud-sunk hippies wade, Till reveling in the nudity of the Gay.... Now two ply, Secada! Two ply with wings like spades That rust to nigger up in KKK's unholy glowworm, And bumms like tarnished bummeries whose glory hemhoroid in the foyer. Now confess, Secada! To the one that got away. To the real Lord of Gaye.
Re: Cupid promised me, Nadine by Shardik	Katrina 24.27.177.10	23-May-04/7:52 PM
Magnificent....
Re: Barometric pressure & true love (The prince of storms) by Jeremi B. Handrinos	Katrina 24.27.177.10	23-May-04/7:54 PM
Amazing....
regarding some deleted poem...	Katrina 24.27.177.10	23-May-04/7:56 PM
Aww...that was really an amazing piece of work.
Re: Don't Say You Understand by cuddlytiger17	thepinkbunnyofdoom 216.196.148.166	23-May-04/9:20 PM
Until he discerns what it’s like to become a "woman" In such a deranged way Lose that, and EVER AGAIN! Read it without them, your words strike a broader range, and still say exactly what you wanted them to. Perhaps another forceful ending would be better, but that really depends on your personal taste.
Re: The Virgin by cleverdevice	thepinkbunnyofdoom 216.196.144.175	24-May-04/1:12 AM
A master piece to be hung with next to a cheap reprint altered in photo shop of that one painting... by that guy... but anyway, genius. I love it. It gave me the shniggles.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 65.161.41.48	24-May-04/4:11 AM
Hey, thanks, Fire_is_cool! It really makes the experience a lot better for us if you just acknowledge upfront that your poem is sappy, cliche, and terminally damp. -zodiac PS- Perhaps you've seen these gems? "I Love You, Okay?" by lydia evelyn, http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=99558 "Cliché Contemplation" by lydia evelyn, http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=96873 "Clichés You Want" by lydia evelyn, http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=95067
Re: Cicada Years by seanlb1	zodiac 65.161.41.48	24-May-04/4:15 AM
wow thats intense... do you write songs too? you should definately post some more blessed with a 10!