regarding some deleted poem...	Dan garcia-Black 64.160.145.51	20-Apr-04/7:16 PM
Mood or truth? Hmmm...Both? No, it's Or. '8'
Re: Loneliness by tuthaliash	Tintagiles 142.166.234.88	20-Apr-04/7:20 PM
Hmm. On the one hand, as hypatia said, you could turn it into a haoku, thus: With furtive passion I kiss the back of my hand And spoon my pillow That, however, would have the result of its ending with the line 'I spoon my pillow'. Which is going to turn this into a comedy, which I presume is not the intent.
regarding some deleted poem...	edpeterson 68.79.4.88	20-Apr-04/8:03 PM
i think it is pretty fucking good.
Re: Who king in selfish selves by waxtester	fluffigrbl11 4.138.29.193	21-Apr-04/12:32 AM
a bit confusing, but otherwise i liked
Re: Ravings of a dreamer by SupremeDreamer	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	21-Apr-04/3:38 AM
And just when you think a cock couldn't get any bigger along comes someone with a Swedish vacum pump.
Re: Loneliness by tuthaliash	wilco 24.176.102.131	20-Apr-04/5:20 PM
Yep...thats lonely...
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 152.18.33.195	20-Apr-04/5:42 PM
I feel obliged to inform you that the most recent of Blender's Worst-of lists names Jefferson Starship's "We Built This City [on Rock & Roll]" the worst song ever.
Re: Summer Festival by wilco	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	20-Apr-04/6:49 PM
A few lines bother me: Rising high and filling the horizon. (How do you mean?) a drink too costly to touch ??? flail about and wail -> flail and wail
Re: Who king in selfish selves by waxtester	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	20-Apr-04/6:44 PM
I would make (WARNING!) warning. Some good thoughts here, but a bit disjointed. Like why not "Who is king in selfish selves?" or is that too simple; I don't think so. The part about know and now is good. "The" is vague in an uninteresting way.
Re: Loneliness by tuthaliash	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	20-Apr-04/6:51 PM
Why don't you lose a few words and make it a haiku?
Re: Ravings of a dreamer by SupremeDreamer	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253	21-Apr-04/5:13 AM
http://www.iol.ie/~ejordan/horse1.WAV
regarding some deleted poem...	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253	21-Apr-04/5:13 AM
http://www.iol.ie/~ejordan/horse2.WAV
Re: Ravings of a dreamer by SupremeDreamer	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 131.111.212.215	21-Apr-04/5:33 AM
So apart from spazzing out on meth-beakers and party-whazzes every tooby beeper, and writing poetry about how deviant you are, what do you actually do that's so fucking deviant? Nothing. You've just got an obsession with being different from other people, because it's the only way you can excuse your astounding mediocrity in all areas.
Re: Ravings of a dreamer by SupremeDreamer	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253	21-Apr-04/5:41 AM
SEAGOON: I must warn you that this is a case of ipso facto corincarborundum filius. ECCLES: Ohohoooo. What do all dem woords mean den? SEAGOON: I don't know, but they make me sound intelligent. In any case, they fooled you. ECCLES: Oh, yeah well, you needn't have used such long words, small words fool me just the same.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	21-Apr-04/5:59 AM
Change to the last two lines, suggest: "I am the child fucked twice a night I am naughty and desreve it up the ass",
Re: Ravings of a dreamer by SupremeDreamer	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	21-Apr-04/6:00 AM
one fix: "plague[']s nature" I can't help thinking there's a simpler way to say the same thing, but I guess the vocabularic diarrhea, and I mean that in the nicest possible way, is a style - and I really won't fault you for that. I think the thing does encapsulate a complete thought, as well. I'm forced to consider the merrits of this style, however; it raises questions as I read the piece ... Who is your audience? Is the style consistent with the message? And a broader question: what is the value of language? See what happens? I completely ignore the message and go right to the method of conveyance.
Re: Moving Forward In Reverse (For Ann) by wilco	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	21-Apr-04/7:03 AM
ahh, love songs with trains - gotta love em. Good one.
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	21-Apr-04/7:06 AM
small nit: "beginning[']s end" (and the I'll will, but you got that one). I find the rhyming quite consistent myself, near-rhymes are fine. good job.
Re: The break-up by petite_brunette	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	21-Apr-04/7:07 AM
the core of a memorable pop lyric, I'd say.
Re: The Song of Summer Youth (II) by cleverdevice	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	21-Apr-04/7:09 AM
good language and a pleasant vignette. BUT can you do something with the last line (maybe I just have trouble with last lines?). I keep thinking of guitars... (plus you could do better I think).