Re: carnivalesque by sarah	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	19-Apr-04/3:11 PM
"painted like a dali painting" pick a painting and kill the other. This is, otherwise, pimple - not a bad one though.
Re: From Treehouse To Factory by Shardik	ggawrysi 147.9.82.227	19-Apr-04/3:23 PM
S4 had the most powerful imagery in the poem, I definitely enjoyed it. Very well done; every word adds something to the poem, there's no fluff anywhere.
Re: Take Four by NanceXToo	nentwined 66.92.28.14	19-Apr-04/4:05 PM
I really enjoy the twisting of the words that you do, here.
Re: Let's Let the Flies In, Thomas by NanceXToo	nentwined 66.92.28.14	19-Apr-04/4:10 PM
I agree with zodiac's comments here.
Re: Take Four by NanceXToo	<~> 64.252.164.251	19-Apr-04/4:11 PM
nice acrobatics, sound-wise.
Re: Sport by MacFrantic	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	19-Apr-04/4:45 PM
olympic dogfighting?
Re: innocent voyeur by nentwined	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	19-Apr-04/4:49 PM
I would lose the last line. It introduces another topic. Otherwise good.
Re: The Robin- A Parody by ggawrysi	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	19-Apr-04/5:00 PM
quite an ambitious ditty - but I think too long? Still, enjoyable enough!
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	19-Apr-04/5:02 PM
a riddle-like quality.
Re: From Treehouse To Factory by Shardik	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	19-Apr-04/5:08 PM
The set up is out of proportion to the delivery, but the language is solid enough. Something to think about if you ever do a rewrite.
Re: innocent voyeur by nentwined	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	19-Apr-04/5:10 PM
that last line, man. what can be done?
Re: stranger by francis nor capule	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	19-Apr-04/5:14 PM
"really really glad" is you makin' fun of poetry?? are you mocking me? HUH PRETTY-BOY - are you mockin ME??
Re: reflection by xunitedx	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	19-Apr-04/5:21 PM
balleys? I think you mean ballets. The last line seems contradictory after setting up the theme of finding meaning and truth. I'd try to go back to who we listen to for the last line.
Re: innocent voyeur by nentwined	zodiac 152.18.33.220	19-Apr-04/5:52 PM
The (current) last line seems fine to me.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 152.18.33.220	19-Apr-04/5:53 PM
I do love your username. This poem kind of sucks though.
Re: Laundry by mindsigns	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	19-Apr-04/6:00 PM
This is a "concrete", and they are so few and, well, f a r between, that I'm gonna give you an 8.
regarding some deleted poem...	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 131.111.212.215	19-Apr-04/6:01 PM
"Quim"
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	19-Apr-04/6:04 PM
this has some logic errors, like how would I (cuz I know you are talking to me) know if your blood didn't suit my taste if it then goes un-tasted? Or something. Plus it sounds like another suicide poem[e].
Re: Sport by MacFrantic	MacFrantic 198.81.26.15	19-Apr-04/7:16 PM
It is a simple metaphor for sport in general people! This not about dogs, but the essence of sport. Sports turns men into animals, for what? People will kill for the gold and no one really remembers who died for what.
Re: Laundry by mindsigns	<{Baba^Yaga}> 66.229.187.185	19-Apr-04/8:04 PM
Yeah, liked this.