regarding some deleted poem...	Don-Quixote 69.19.182.88	7-Jan-04/9:44 AM
What bugs me is the use of past tense.. specifically "If words were not needed to be kindled," It just reads wierd, and is slightly confusing.. or that could just be me. Other than that? Blessed with eight.
Re: Father O Father O Father of Fools by dougsoderstrom	tuthaliash 63.198.141.118	7-Jan-04/12:24 PM
Yes, some nice imagery. I do agree with Frass' comments, however. I personally have trouble when a metre is established or implied in a rhyming poem like this and then the poet strays from it so radically. It ends up feeling imbalanced and amateurish. It's best either to free it up completely, or choose your words very carefully and stick to the metre.
regarding some deleted poem...	LuV_jOhNnY 198.108.232.12	7-Jan-04/1:44 PM
Kinda confused!
Re: soul searching by fair12	LuV_jOhNnY 198.108.232.12	7-Jan-04/1:47 PM
Good, Awesome beginning, but i got kinda lost in the middle some where
Re: i wake up from a dream of my mouth by silvertongueddevil	LuV_jOhNnY 198.108.232.12	7-Jan-04/1:48 PM
Very sexual but has a wicked awesome twist at the end
Re: Black Beach by Caducus	DreamerSupreme 69.19.183.63	7-Jan-04/2:13 PM
Great work caducus, twas a good read. Nine.
Re: CAUTION: VAMPIRE ZONE... by TanHand	titan69 213.48.74.171	7-Jan-04/2:35 PM
LOVED IT RIGHT UP MY STREET
Re: Black Beach by Caducus	richa 81.178.248.172	7-Jan-04/2:37 PM
Good, couldn't really get into the first verse, but the second is good. The stench rises/buried alive in dead fish stand out particularly. 'The beach is not environmentally friendly' seems a bit awkward though
Re: BreakBeat TimeTravel by nentwined	richa 81.178.248.172	7-Jan-04/2:40 PM
The first line beak makes no sense to me.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.248.172	7-Jan-04/2:43 PM
You condemned me by showing heaven is good (I think the first part may be an old quote). The rhyming seems oddly placed though
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.248.172	7-Jan-04/2:45 PM
sleep with the fishes?
Re: Wicked Corruption by devilishnutcase	richa 81.178.248.172	7-Jan-04/2:46 PM
All aroused? - surely some more creative use of language would better communicate your point.
Re: Equinox by timfowler	tuthaliash 63.198.141.118	7-Jan-04/3:02 PM
I've read this poem over and over, and every time I get something different out of it. This is one of those instances where I may not fully grasp or clearly understand the full import what is being said – indeed, I may not have the capacity – but the poem is so beautifully crafted that I don’t care. Gorgeous.
regarding some deleted poem...	Caducus 195.92.168.178	7-Jan-04/3:34 PM
last 3 lines really resonate. as usual v.good/
Re: Another Window by nightii	tuthaliash 63.198.141.118	7-Jan-04/3:41 PM
Strikes an all-too-familiar chord in me.
Re: What the fuck is a HAIKU anyway? by titan69	little_big_nose 216.207.132.135	7-Jan-04/6:11 PM
this is awsome, i wish i could give it better than a 10
Re: A Kiss by devilishnutcase	little_big_nose 216.207.132.135	7-Jan-04/6:15 PM
pretty good, it's a half-rhyme kinda thing...i like it
Re: Waiting to inhale (Stardust & God's Black Nostril) by Don-Quixote	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	7-Jan-04/8:23 AM
I dunno, religion is tough to pick on with a straight face anymore. Kindof like bitch-slapping someone with a learning disability for not knowing linear math; tough to tell who's more retarded. To do it in a non-informative way - without explanation, is adopting the same philosophies that a believer relies on. Not that I don't do the same damn thing. That having been said, I find this entertaining enough to give it a yellowed snowman (courtesy of SupremeDreamer).
regarding some deleted poem...	Don-Quixote 66.53.161.152	7-Jan-04/8:23 AM
Yup, I hear the wheenie roasts in the fire pit kick ass, and that they got rock'n'roll playin 24/7. Also heard the devils supposed to be this dominatrix type lady dressed to kill in red. I always wondered.. if your a masochist who enjoys pain, are you sent to heaven if you haven't been a good boy? Because really now, I thinks theres a loophole in all this with placement exceptions.. maybe we should tell the pope? Blessed with 8.
Re: fully awake by crwncka1	peaceseeker 63.164.145.85	7-Jan-04/8:48 AM
nice journey (to "the conscious reunion with (your) love"). i love this.