There must have been enough left to eat.

Good luck w/it

Liked the images of the third and fourth verses best, but it seems like your rhyme scheme is hindering a more meaningful expression of what you want to write.

I liked it all except "windows of her soul", even though "soul" went with Black and soil. Maybe you could work in soul without the cliche.

Through not threw and snapped not snaped. Could be sheared of redundancies like 'I have to wait'. Other than that a good effort

Start saving so yew ken by a knew bord

Steers clear of any kind of analysis which is its weakness. I like 'lies for love/ lies with him'

Reads well, but the theme is a little ubiquitous.

The oven isn't quite unused if you just made TV dinners, is it? I would allude to the smell of the TV dinners in the oven, "the mixed stink of Hungry Man meatloaf/potatoes/corn/brownie" to show that your narrator is serious enough to open the oven. I wouldn't toy around with train suicide stuff, see my poem "body image" for a fictionalized example of a true story. You know, it throws me off a little that there is no reason given for the suicide ideation, but maybe the reasons for suicide don't work for poetry because they seem too cliche. If this narrator is actually you, as a clinical social worker, I would recommend that you try to find someone to talk to about this stuff. It is usually difficult to get away from that kind of thinking alone, but it seems like you want to, or you wouldn't have told the poemranker audience about "your" (if it is your) suicidal thinking.

It's just gonna get deeper. Good poem, I enjoyed it.

Paper bags don't help in the matter of political dissimilarity. Are you talking about physical dissimilarity? It kind of works if you are going for a racial message, you know the preintegration history is that doormen at clubs used to hold up a brown paper bag next to a person of African origin, and if they were lighter than the bag, they could enter the club.

A little young for all that raw emotion aren't you? Good read.

O.k. Seems like we got anudder poete around ere

Try not to need too much, it leaves you open to pain.

The best so far A well deserved 10

I do not get this one. Mostly I see a person smoking a cigarette and not being concerned about health until it is to late.

KUDOS!!! :)

Beautifully done, as usual...

Last line sounds a bit porn filmish.

Congratulations, you've managed to use "love" three times and "heart" four times in three verses. Without a doubt this is the most beautiful and meaningful poem ever written. Oh yeah, and you used "heart/apart". Do you ever wake up and suddenly think, "Oh no, I'm mindblowingly stupid"?