Re: Amputee by INTRANSIT	bwaha 216.162.88.130	17-Apr-07/7:16 AM
Love the simplicity in this. The imagery is powerful though. A lot of attempts to end a piece in sardonic wit are trite or overdone but this entire thing flows from start to finish without a hitch. I like it alot.
Re: broken bottles by richa	bwaha 216.162.88.130	17-Apr-07/7:19 AM
I think your first verse is the strongest here. It is simplistic and beautiful and powerful. Bit confused about the connection to albatross, though.
Re: A twisted Trail in Eden’s Garden by Dovina	bwaha 216.162.88.130	17-Apr-07/7:23 AM
I love the strong, vivid language you use in this. That can be easy to overdue, but you have struck a near perfect balance here, I think. This takes a very...sensual approach to something that most people gloss over or take for granted, I think. I like it a lot.
Re: Always there by holliebollie_19	holliebollie_19 76.181.20.240	17-Apr-07/3:57 PM
It is sort of like a song.
Re: Always there by holliebollie_19	holliebollie_19 76.181.20.240	17-Apr-07/3:57 PM
It is sort of like a song.
Re: Always there by holliebollie_19	holliebollie_19 76.181.20.240	17-Apr-07/3:57 PM
It is sort of like a song.
Re: Always there by holliebollie_19	holliebollie_19 76.181.20.240	17-Apr-07/3:57 PM
It is sort of like a song.
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 67.172.190.253	17-Apr-07/5:16 PM
Don't know what happened. rockmage
Re: Prince of Void by Dovina	jessicazee 65.30.186.80	18-Apr-07/12:01 AM
I love the second line. I keep reading it. The word "bleak" is, uh, onomonapeida (sp?), yeah. Duh, you know what I mean and I won a trophy for spelling in 7th grade, but it phonetically intersects with its meaning? Is that the word? Or does that mean the word is the actual sound, like "beep"? God I love pot. Also,I kind of see a empty space between the last two lines? P.S. Funny aside: the first time I read this I thought 5th line read: "uncoupled from his sNoring"; hee.
regarding some deleted poem...	jessicazee 65.30.186.80	18-Apr-07/12:16 AM
That bum is me.
Re: The Corner Tavern by jessicazee	half.italian 76.172.249.205	18-Apr-07/1:18 PM
I see it.
Re: I want to press my fingertips by bwaha	EAger to Offend 74.12.105.91	18-Apr-07/9:48 PM
I dig it. Perhaps some other word(s) can maintain the sensitivity of this piece better than "human life". Sorry I don't have a suitable substitute at the ready.
Re: Makin' Bacon by NICKDRP	EAger to Offend 74.12.105.91	18-Apr-07/9:58 PM
I think that "neat" is the perfect word to end this on. Not only is it a juvenile complement to the whimsy of this piece, the conotation is just as Leave-it-to-Beaver, 50's-ish as a the very bacon breakfast of which you speak.
Re: Subway moments by azntsarina	EAger to Offend 74.12.105.91	18-Apr-07/10:09 PM
Ditto richa's comment on the Unions Station piece.
Re: The Corner Tavern by jessicazee	INTRANSIT 65.29.60.146	19-Apr-07/8:26 AM
Suggestions: Line 2 I'm in a raffle kind of mood Line 5 lose -stools go with vinyl perches 6/7 lose for. Will it go 'round in circles?
Re: Sensually Literary Villanelle by bwaha	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-Apr-07/8:51 AM
This is awesome.
Re: Pink BAlls by EAger to Offend	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-Apr-07/8:52 AM
Verily the most enjoyable romp around the foyer of hotel failure for three long years!
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-Apr-07/8:53 AM
Having finished writing this did you go and gun down a load of students?
Re: Always there by holliebollie_19	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-Apr-07/8:55 AM
Hollie Bollie, this is indeed sort of like a song. It is sort of like a song before it is sung.
Re: The Corner Tavern by jessicazee	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-Apr-07/8:57 AM
Dogs who drink beer? Where did you think up this line? for dogs drink water not beer.