"I will steadily hide the smell That my bacteria excretes to tell. the world I am a sick can Better opened under a ceiling fan." Interesting.

Nice rhyme. It's so er....?

Fantastic! Bravo to you. :)

This is well penned.

No not ice cream and cookies...more like prune juice and pretzels! this was witty, very nice ;)

The imagery is well done. The closure tied it up perfectly.

One of the best I've seen today....great structure!

Well worded. I like the imagery.

I like this! Oakland eh? I was born in Sonoma and lived in Bodega Bay. :)

Now that's poetry. Very nice indeed! ;)"bowl faced to the sun like a beggar, so succinctly put was its life and mine" Well put!

A fine read. This piece is very descriptive and almost like a poem I had read by Sylvia Plath. :)

"I have studied the effects of thirst firsthand and dug up pipebombs from the playground" Nice word play, it's really a stunning piece.

"invokes the infinitesimal and for one effulgent second these holed and drafty walls drop away." I like a read with interesting wording. This was quite a poem. You remind me of some one close to me...I'll show you a sample of his work.. The July night spit and cracked in its black eye, its black iron pot; black boots rout sand on a beach whose shadows revolve, roll about like fat citrus at dawn’s red skin. Fork-split; my father died this night. In a Texas tumbleweed—tumble, was the cement, the man, the moon. I do not tote his flag, carry visions across the years as tinder into flames. Hell is too abundant. It pumps through tubes and cavities in snow-banked gullies, sweet waters of Hungarian streams. I have taken it up. I am all mouth— he taught me this with bony spindles, contours. Off a mountainside, I recall. Forget, forget; suicides, contusions, edges— forget since you can not. Black boots stretch and moan on the concrete, in the black eye; I fit them tight as a casket, right as a dead man’s son. We were both published in the same zine. I admire his work as I do yours. I'm sure I messed up his structure though. ;)

Not finished yet, but I figured I'd get your feel for it so far, new style and all. Pleeze be gentle, I,m soooo sensitive.

well man I don't know what to think of your well thought out sarcastic interlude. If you truly are in a wheelchair(catheter and all) I should think you'd have spent your time better than this. Buuutt, you make me laugh. HA HA

It's crap, all crap. . .no just teasing I like it, and I'll be checking back later to see it finished I'm sure

I wonder what it would sound like to music :)

Am I the only one not distinctly moved by this? I mean, a trombone? Seems like there's an oompah band just round the bend and I fund that higly amusing. Images of fat germans in Lederhosen and feathers in their cap spoiling this tranquil scene. It ruins the whole effect. Oboe, clarinet maybe, but trombone, no. There are far more emotive instruments than a trombone. And if this was me, I'd be blasted for the lack of capital letters. I quite like like 'silvered in pike' but pike arn't silver, they're green. Plus you won't find pike in a stream, they're too big, and prefer lakes to running water. They are also carnivorous, so are highly solitary creatures, you'd be lucky to get enough in one place for them to 'silver'. Apart from that there's some great stuff. 7

Pure, unadulterated, feaces. I'd rather do reconstructive surgery on my penis shaft with a rusty pick axe than read this again.

Yes. I findus Thisus Shittus. I can write in Latin!!!