Was this thonged masochist you? I liked the title, but you could use another reference to the horse ass part in your poem- maybe the horsebacked female cops that are so attracted to downtown Portland at night.

great poem

darktri ooo

Why? Wouldn't god be better as both sexes in one And isn't that why a man and a woman must come together as two to form one? The thought of god being just a man just makes me laugh, because, men are stupid and weak. 7.

Perhaps, it was the smell of broken florescent light bulbs. "a crack so loud, everone's eyes watered," everyone.

"i am between your Seine and your Rhine"... ah. if i might dare utter something akin to blasphemy, i'd say that's nearly better than whipped cream. :) the rest of it, though.. other than "i am just with the rain..." and a few other gems.. when i remember you're capable of "Troublemaker"...i don't know.. it's just.. at the moment, when i'm somewhat sleepy, i'd be more liable to give it a [we're sorry: it seems as though the user has left the workstation as he fears giving the poem cited a vote he will later regret. please try again later.]

certainly you've removed the informative. somewhat. your imagery has me solidly confused (a black lump of oxygenated carbon). I can't really feel "a snow cone melting on summer's day" (hmm; nitpick: it should either be "in summer's day" or "on a summer's day"). I can feel "a slow trickle of organs", but don't think it has the tone you're going for? [[rather sublime and gross it is, an interesting idea, but... out of place]] really don't get what a "frosting freeze" would be. or what's reaching and what's being touched. ("to far gone" should be "too far gone") the second stanza has seeds of something, if there was a better flow to it; and the last stanza brings it crashing down, in my opinion. done done done.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This poem has an interesting tension between 1.) being marketed 'fun' (plus the narrator's friend's ability to enjoy it in spite of the commercialization) and 2.) Your apparent objective indifference to (or even slight critique of) the whole thing.

I fail to see what warrants a rerelease of this piece, except that you've decided to be consistent and misspell mulberry throughout the poem (except the title). Perhaps you are attempting a play on words in your misspelling of my username- but it doesn't seem like you mulled over this one for long. Is this the way you treat your gay friends when you are having respectful, intellectual disagreements? If so, I guess I should say I am flattered and I love you too. Also, who said anything about being on my back? Be more imaginitive, "missionary"?!

Cute, and ambiguous as to the narrator's feelings there at the end.

right

I was surprised that it actually worked, because my screen is full of 0000's. 美しい、再度。

"your lights, my stars"...i'm probably reading more into this than i should, but i find it rather meaningful. this profundity is of another type than the rest of your poem, so if i were to quote it in my style of profundity, i'd not contextualize. :) but, the same holds true for "i am in love with the beauty of your / ignorance" and for that matter, "only your intersections / mark". when fit with the rest of it, the external meaning i've added jars, somewhat.. but taken as a whole, i'd leave you with an 8.

When will anyone realise that poetry is a form of entertainment, not a method for encrypting a load of adolescent emotions?

respect thy elders

0 or 10 are the best marks, and are both equally excellent. All other marks are too mediocre to be worth anything. -6-

this is very strange. it tugs me several directions, so I'll just try to respond to it in a linear fashion. the first light sets me up for a horrible poem--cliche beyond belief. really. the second, though, is interesting--it says, "hey, here's a potentially unique viewpoint, sorry about that cliche I started with". "eye's" is the possessive of eye, not its plural. and "gold pyrite" ... it's just "pyrite". or "fool's gold". trying too hard for the rhyme, I think. the second stanza has some good sentiment in it, but it's clumsily stated. partially trying too hard for the rhyme, partially... just missing a coherent flow. the last two stanzas beat the drum of something I can't agree with, but I'll try not to argue that. Just a note that forced ryhmes and butchered rhythm really don't promote what you're trying to say. and "always beautiful in my head, no evil you can find" is just disturbing. really. like you're on some sort of "happy drug" ala brave new world, or being brainwashed ala 1984. really.

Can you say more about the bruising? I imagine the mention of bruising has more significance than just its physicality on the arm. What are your thoughts on the friend's fervorous grip, and the narrator's bruising?

Women shouldn't be allowed on this site.