Re: Fisting and Wishing by John Rambo	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.229.135	13-Feb-07/12:02 PM
I liked the "freshly shaven" bit. It's things like that which separated the sheep from the, er, other sheep.
Re: Romantic dreams by John Rambo	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.229.135	13-Feb-07/12:03 PM
Puerile garbage and not very grammatcal either. I am shocked at this as others of your poems have suggestd at somethng approaching genius. That "alley" one was a fucking winner. This: 1/10 and only 'cos I'm feeling friendly.
Re: Yet more woe by Stephen Robins	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	14-Feb-07/4:53 AM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lincolnshire/6133042.stm
Re: Yet more woe by Stephen Robins	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	14-Feb-07/4:55 AM
http://www.long-eaton.info/modules.php?name=News&;file=article&sid=409
Re: To my Valentine by Lola	A_Dark_Calm 71.68.46.177	14-Feb-07/6:49 AM
Ditto...
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 208.127.90.123	14-Feb-07/9:14 AM
Here we have the sensible view of a practical man, where distinctions between thoughts and things, present and absent, knower and object, are all fixed and obvious from common sense. He knows the difference between real and imaginary, genuine knowledge and mere opinion. But would not such a man consider the 3 he mistakenly adorned on a “non-poem” and change it to the deserved 0 by now? Or is non-admission of mistaken impulse contained in what lesser life doesn’t understand?
Re: To my Valentine by Lola	Dovina 208.127.90.123	14-Feb-07/9:17 AM
Very touching, you two, but hardly of general interest. Enjoy your love.
Re: Yet more woe by Stephen Robins	Dovina 208.127.90.123	14-Feb-07/9:36 AM
Nothing compounds the shame of having erupted from ordinary gay teacherhood into temporary statutory rape more than the condescending cooing of a delightfully plump cockney poeme. As you lick your fingers, a poor man on his way to an important assignation, you must find a way of cleansing your trousers whilst bewailing lack of moral rectitude and vowing never again to take the short cut through shambles where the temptation of speedy relief from a brazen young wench is all too enticing. 10 (parody? - yes)
Re: Topography by MacFrantic	Dovina 208.127.90.123	14-Feb-07/9:39 AM
"Beauty belongs in the distraction" Nice line.
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 67.172.190.253	14-Feb-07/5:09 PM
Is this the best you can do, or is this the best you want to do? Not just this post, but the other two as well are really rather poorly done.
Re: Captured by Dovina	jessicazee 24.160.240.140	15-Feb-07/6:25 AM
2nd stanza made me all nicey-nice. Also, what is a "trainer's chair?"
Re: Complaints by jessicazee	Dovina 208.127.90.253	15-Feb-07/7:10 AM
These sound like happy complaints of two who have worked hard and have some minor pains. That's just an impression though, because it isn't very clear. If "hot cocoa stains" are sweaty dirt on shirt, then good description.
Re: Friday's Monday's June by Enkidu	Dovina 208.127.90.253	15-Feb-07/7:16 AM
Friday's Monday's June takes a while to parse and makes a riddle out of it. The rest is quite nice in its obscurity.
Re: Advent by Nicholas Jones	nentwined 76.167.62.172	15-Feb-07/5:48 PM
I second the howl's bow'ls. Somewhat interesting, but not enough, and the flow, well, yeah. You call this happy? I was ready to berate fluffy bunnies...
Re: The blankness of his life by Nicholas Jones	nentwined 76.167.62.172	15-Feb-07/5:55 PM
Is it the extremities or intremities you're seeking with this poem? ((hey, you complained you hadn't gotten insults, right?)) The blankness of his masturbation--fine, but why record it? Though I do sympathise with the feeling (am I leaving myself too open, here?) - this poem does not epitomize them in any good way. The second stanza's better than the first, but still uninteresting. Tell me something in a novel way (and I don't mean prose, and I don't mean rot13...) slip me the suggestion, the meaning, without my realising what you've said until I'm looking at the blade in my heart.
Re: The Mountain by Nicholas Jones	nentwined 76.167.62.172	15-Feb-07/6:01 PM
ending, now--that's the end of the poem, there. you've told us too much, and we don't care. Start elsewhere, make us feel things are ending. yeah, way too much tell throughout. Start at "Fuck", and you've got something better. Well, until you get to "So we moved on". still, you might have something here, in the back of your head, to convey. Just not conveyed in the poem.
Re: On returning to a town where I used to live by Nicholas Jones	nentwined 76.167.62.172	15-Feb-07/6:04 PM
"I remember the tiny details of the place" is a decent hook (as in, start there), but you need to follow with actual details, or contrast it with something that tells the lie. You've told me something, vague, and I don't believe you. An extra point for Starbucks, vile corporation that they may be, because I've always wanted to watch Battlestar Galactica, and I could use some coffee.
Re: The Horror The Horror by Nicholas Jones	nentwined 76.167.62.172	15-Feb-07/6:10 PM
Not reading the whole thing, but caught something that might be a good hook; "Imagine -- saying it, meaning it" ((no need to repeat the title, we know, we know the reference)) Run from there. I like "I joined a party to fight for socialism but found ideology was out of fashion and we’re all in the centre ground now." Tell me more? I think you're all over the place on this, and I'm not feeling any of it, except the odd scrap.
Re: Les Imagistes by Nicholas Jones	nentwined 76.167.62.172	15-Feb-07/6:13 PM
This is actually clever. The thing I'm missing is it flowing. Sad but I think it needs a poet's touch, or maybe just an editor's. "I argue ... work" doesn't move things along as much as the rest, I think. Passable? Almost.
Re: Uncontrolled scribblings one luch break by Nicholas Jones	nentwined 76.167.62.172	15-Feb-07/6:18 PM
Hey, this takes clever and runs with it for a bit. I'd drop the self-referential (and so therefore also write), since it's not about that _so_ much. ICO pen? I'm missing a bit, but I like the self-abuse. :)