necessity

knee slapper! - <shweet>

Derek Zoolander asked the same question cept he looked into a puddle

hmm, paled in comparison to "always", nevertheless, a good piece.. <6>

nice.. it's easy to see its beauty in its simplicity.. <8>

Well done. -8-

Well written piece, great talent.

hmm, though quite a common theme, wonderfully expressed.. it's like a solitary blue rose in a garden of red ones; though still a rose, it manages to stand out.. <8>

hey, i never quite liked the whole "jagged" form of poetry, but this piece certainly made me think twice of that stand.. well done.. <8>

Um.. Yeah Kiddo. No offense, but very cliche. Poetic, but cliche. Hmmm.. How to put this gently, I've read alot of poems about walls, and santuarys. Good fences make good nieghbor and yadada type crap. Look read more poetry and the comments beneath them. It will teach you how to write better than you are. Read some books as well, but not those collections of small never heard of would be poets, I mean like The Complete Works of Keats, like Lyrical Ballads, like Where the Sidewalk Ends. Books by a single poet, or with a limited number of poets, as opposed to every poem written by a Weekend Wanna Be, whose poem somebody in publishing thought was cute. While I'm listing off good books to read and learn about poetry, I also highly suggest the classics such as Cat and the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, and other childhood favorites.

I like these little packaged thoughts. It is probably easier to make a whole out of such a small verse. But nevertheless you have done it perfectly

From the Ma Joad tradition of poetry. The cliches, similarity to your other poems, misuse of "your", and reluctance to respect God by capitalizing his name add up to a big honking 1.

blue? very pretty. but once more I show my ignorance--I don't get it.

? :) definitely a mindtwister for me. I can't find the rhythm (is stepped one or two syllables in your reading? (not that I can find it either way, but I'm curious as to the "tone" there)) la la la! :) does six-stepped mean something? ooh. What's a Bombi? (I read that as Bambi at least 7 times. it now makes less sense but in a clearer way (I couldn't figure out where a deer was coming from). la la la. :)

abyss-like. (deep)

*a small woodland creature suffering from many dilusions stands on his back two paws and cheers* "Bravo, Bravo, Encore, ENCORE, I WANT MORE" *hands you a -10-*

hey, i really like this piece.. flowing nicely, wonderfully presented.. <9>

This tickles the little hampster running on a wheel in my brain's nut sack. -10-

MORE!

drink more. masturbate less. that is all.