wEdible Underpantsw
on Taliban Ambush by scitz
5 Jun 2003, 11:51 AM
CHA CHA CHA
CHA CHA CHA
CHA CHA CHA
I don't know why, but I don't care for this one much. Just the way things are sometimes.
GIVE US MORE PORN
Indeed.
I like the structure, very inventive
Wonderful, spare,
lilting, tilting,
abrubt and
nine,
'all men are pigs' after she said that did you introduce yourself (as mr pig) ?
very sweet poem as ever, moving in images
Sounds like you're going Tupac.
Ok. so, if my catamaran, which sadly, sank,(there's a hunnert mousuits looking for it now) is an ode, then this scU-REAMS LYRICS!!! Hello-o? anybody listening? no? fine. whatever.
great piece. drop the 'splaining. go.
For some reason this feels so... un-you. I dunno.... lemme think.
Bill Z Bub
on Barometric pressure & true love (The prince of storms) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
5 Jun 2003, 6:26 PM
The second-last line: "Since your love will never keep warm."
Should there be a word in between keep and warm? Such as "me" or "you"?
First half excellent. Second half confusing. Then again, I'm the idiot that wrote "soothing blisters of synthesis
walk on alkaline locks", so I have no right to say such things! I must be punished.
The title is a ten. I give the body seven. That averages out to 8.5!
Rock on.
who is jeremy b handrinos? what is this poem about? why don't i understand any of the other comments? what is going on around here? no points from me, I'm afraid ...
The stanza about tea and toast is very good. It sticks in the memory. The rest of the poem is shit. 4
Your right he's not.
It was better left unexplained. Fuck them, make them draw their own conclusions. Make them imagine. I, on the other hand, gathered something very similiar too your explanation the first time in the cage.
yes very evocative
The phrase "my eyes bleed tears" is plagiarised from the following poeme by Roger Pfingston:
http://www.2river.org/2RView/5_2/poems/p
CUNT
10