horus8
on Techno Whore by hotwire
2 Jun 2003, 11:45 PM
Indeedy.
Could I ask you a rather personal question, Vipersna? It's a little embarrassing, really, but it is related to this piece. My question is this: Do women have to wear nappies to stop the blood from coming out of their bum?
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
2 Jun 2003, 8:03 PM
I'm going to resort to asking you, please remove this poem, ok? This is my property, therefore, i ask that you remove it. If you are mature, you will at least do me this favor.
Whatever erotic energy you might have built up in the second verse is utterly destroyed by the fact that the last word is "CUM".
This is to horse penis what Katherine was to horse penis. 10!
By the way have you seen my sporty profile lately, if not.
http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/574/horu
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
2 Jun 2003, 6:35 PM
PLAGIARLISM ALERT!
"Get on I know, there's not too many places left to go; When I get there I know, I'll be walking back to you" You're already there, why would you walk back again? It's like the satanic hamster wheel of love. When I got to the end of this song I sobbed whole heartedly into my own shoe, because I felt like you wedged a shoe horn into my sole, but more so, my ear drums. The mix is a little low, but the overall sound (chords, verse and chorus) are really well written. It's just the lyrics are unfortunately cannon fodder. Truly, a load of magnetically unbalanced semen swimming in the wrong direction. Your lyrics contradict themselves to death. Literally, every other sentence un-works the one before it, and there is only about ten of them altogether (the whole song is probably only ten sentences, if that). This process of poor lyricism is very common this day, and age, but I will not put up with it. Why put that much effort into the music to only turn around and take a nose dive into the shallows when writing the lyrics. It's an utter sham. Take your time, tell a story, involve your listeners. Speak clearly in a way that makes sense. You are obviously not a poet, because if you were you would not have metaphored yourself into an unapproachable corner like you did. Once again wonderful music, though the production was a bit low. The only negative aspect I felt in this tune, was the absolutely atrocious lyrics coupled by the lead vocalist's weak texture and inaccessible story line.
http://www.liveandloaded.com/Downloads/g
Good lord I think you've done it. Let's just say this poem redefines American poetry, thankyou, now I can die completely ruined and lonely. Could you possibly shove a peanut butter kiss right up my ass? Thanks. If you meet some resistance , fear not, that's just vipersna trying to breath, ignore and push harder.
That's funny. Thanks for the email trickster, the other day. You're right it's been a blast, and to me worth every hour. Thanks for your critiques. I think I'm drunk or just gay now, but what the fuck right?! This sight has really taken my writing further than I would of ever thought plausible, and in the long run, as someone that needs writing more then anything else I believe. I believe that in itself to 'be' the real 'gift' behind Kaolin Fire's poemranker.com whether it was -=Dark_Angels=- sheer fucking brilliance, or Zinnia's eloquence, Settles insanity, or God's wife's passion I was there, you have Intransit's courage, Razorgrin's wit, Katie nievity, Nentwind's insomniatic chirpings, Beel Z bubs anectdotes, and Beakism's beak I was there, motherfucker, deal with that. I read poetry sixteen hours a day. I am a poet. I am crazy enough to say that with a sneer of contempt, and pull out my cock an piss on your shoe with a belch, fart, hello. Poemranker gave me the armor encased penis to do a thing that brazenly superior. People say, "how did you find the time? "I think" how couldn't I find the time?" I'm a writer, that's what I do with my time. I write as much as I fucking can; That's all I'm good at, and, as with everything else on this accursed planet, sometimes I aint even good at that. Poemranker is a good place to bring up your kids, trust me, I know, I live here.
Last night I dreamt i stopped writing poetry. It became a national holiday comprised of nudity and chocolate thai sticks.
I really enjoyed your unacceptance of the past-tense, and your depiction of the word 'meant'. Really, it was captivating.
Re: a comment on Fucked up? by Vipersna Vipersna 02-Jun-03, 06:23 PM
This harness is mine. da just can't accept the fact I can write better than him even if it's my worst peice!
Re: a comment on Fucked up? by Vipersna <~> 02-Jun-03, 06:37 PM
oh, dear, it's that scalliwag da, again. mucking things up for -=Dark_Angel=- someone really out to do something about it. maybe picasso could paint his portrait? oh, right. he's dead. has anyone seen THE NEXT PICASSO on the loose?
"Fucked up? by Vipersna (commentable)" Is there some part of the title you do not quite grasp, idiot? If it's by you and the borrower admits that 'said' fact in the 'said' title then it's not plagiarized is it. It's inappropriatedly appropriated, or unwillfully borrowed.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
2 Jun 2003, 4:09 PM
nice to know you've gone to stealing other people's work just to claim it as your own.
PS: This wasn't supposed to be real poetry-just the truth about what you put up.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
2 Jun 2003, 4:11 PM
also, this hads nothing to do wit your poem, i made this up, I hgave never seen the work you previously stated as yours.
Very Good.
fag.
Razor scars, how powerful and sublime.
Yeah, pretty drunk.