the repetitive use of repetition is nice

very vividly told very fairytale like, gentle

nice use of repetition

BEEN DONE ON TV.DULL

yes I would change lacerated too, it just seems out of place. Overall though very delicate and in the spirit of haiku(if not quite the syllable count)

reads more like an opinion than a poem structure is good though and logic is clear, well logic is always clear

I HATE IT WHEN THEY DON'T VOTE.I LIKED IT,SORRY YOU THOUGHT I MEANT YA POEM,NO,NO NO...THE THING IS YA KEEPIN IT REAL HOMBOY.TOPICAL AND NOT AFRAID OF CONTROVERSY.YES I MEANT HOMBOY.I KNOW BIG FAT MEANIE BOO HOO...EVEN US HIPPIE TYPES GET A BAD DAY.LAME3

Very well re-worded chap. I was a little tired whn I read it the first time. The elimination of the giving up helped alot. I prefer it without the humor, however,YOU thought it fitting. Therefore it has value. A wise poet said to me: Don't write to make others like your poetry. Write to make them think. This above all: To thine own self be true. Shakespeare. Keep up the efforts, they are paying off.

quite good this I guess it is whats known as impressionist

Great use of "talked" to rhyme with "walked" and "abridge" to rhyme with... "bridge". I especially enjoyed "Betrayal occurred". Are you a pro?

The use of "rinkle" to rhyme with "trinkle" is inspired. Indeed, the use of "trinkle" alone sets this piece out from the... er crowd. The crowd of poemes. That are all crowding around my face. Also, great use of ravens to... well not to rhyme... because ravens doesn't really rhyme with heavens... but great use of ravens, anyway. I couldn't imagine a heaven without ravens. It would be like trying to imagine washing your car without a sausage roll sellotaped to your right knee. Imagine that. I did. But I made an absolute bosh of it.

nice repetative use of repeated repetition

Your work is so raw and vital. There's an energy there. An anger. A longing. A sadness. I can tell you've been through some shit in your life. You deal with it like anyone else. But poetry is your outlet. Oh wait, actually it's crap.

You're searching for the key? The key which will open the door to yourself? Are you really doing that? Does that actually make any sense at all? Or did you just make it up to sound special?

You must be a complex person because only a complex person would rANdOmLY iNSeRt upper case letters into the titles of their InEpT poemes.

GOT DUMPED AND IT HURT?

I HATE IT WHEN THEY DON'T VOTE.I LIKED IT,SORRY YOU THOUGHT I MEANT YA POEM,NO,NO NO...THE THING IS YA KEEPIN IT REAL HOMBOY.TOPICAL AND NOT AFRAID OF CONTROVERSY.YES I MEANT HOMBOY.I KNOW BIG FAT MEANIE BOO HOO...EVEN US HIPPIE TYPES GET A BAD DAY.LAME3

nice use of repetition

Nice!

I'm no haiku expert but I find this quite beautiful. My mind snags the petals on the thorns and they never reach ground though.