Re: Instruction by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 61.17.22.206	3-Dec-06/1:48 AM
I kinda wonder how you come up with the contents you write. Pretty good , I must say.
Re: And She Came Back by Enkidu	amanda_dcosta 61.17.22.206	3-Dec-06/2:03 AM
Hmmm.. I think this could be shortened to contain less detail and more impact.
Re: Sonnet 5 (The Second Deluge) by Schlinkey	amanda_dcosta 61.17.22.206	3-Dec-06/2:08 AM
I admire anyone who can write a beautiful sonnet, for this is something I have not achieved yet. You have done a swell job at it and hence I choose not to be too critical about its contents.
Re: A place for everyone by aliena	Ranger 62.252.32.15	3-Dec-06/6:20 AM
And there is also scope for movies about aliens. You might want to edit out one of the repeated 'ands', the one at the start of line 4 seems the obvious choice to me.
Re: The Day Before Christmas by grumpycrafter	Ranger 62.252.32.15	4-Dec-06/2:18 AM
Absolutely hilarious, although it could do with the rhythm tightening up in quite a few places.
Re: Dance With Me by grumpycrafter	Ranger 62.252.32.15	4-Dec-06/2:19 AM
Nice idea. It wants to be put to a waltz beat though.
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 62.252.32.15	4-Dec-06/2:21 AM
Decent write, the last two lines are pretty good. I'd change 'nursing' though, personally.
Re: Lines Composed in a Vancouver Skyscraper by david	Ranger 62.252.32.15	4-Dec-06/2:23 AM
I like this, I really do, but it seems to be better suited as a prose poem. I'd change 'brown finger' to 'tanned finger', but that could just be the result of years of -=Dark_Angel=- poetry. Good write.
Re: Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	4-Dec-06/8:39 AM
I bearded Dear Lord with a mallet, After conducting a secret ballot, I stoved his face in, Which itself was no sin, As it disguised his awful cleft palate. I bearded my black Christ with hair! Revolutionary and I dare say rare, To see pubic fuzz, On Christ, because, Of his apperance he takes great care.
Re: Lines Composed in a Vancouver Skyscraper by david	aliena 67.183.246.214	5-Dec-06/12:16 AM
I could see Vancouver in my mind's eye
Re: Milkman's Eyes by oneglove	Dovina 70.38.78.229	5-Dec-06/9:42 AM
I bet it's a moving song. I hear a guitar played to a folky or country tune. It's hard to comment on a song without hearing the music, but this be good.
Re: Milkman's Eyes by oneglove	some deleted user 64.140.228.43	5-Dec-06/8:16 PM
Dovina's right. It's hard to judge without the music. It feels a little bluesy to me--and very well written.
Re: Self Portrait by Dovina	some deleted user 64.140.228.43	5-Dec-06/8:44 PM
Arn't we all "tarnished by the process?" Nice work Dovina.
Re: I want to press my fingertips by bwaha	some deleted user 64.140.228.43	5-Dec-06/8:48 PM
I like this. Alot said in a few words.
Re: The Glass Bees by MacFrantic	some deleted user 64.140.228.43	5-Dec-06/9:02 PM
This is good--the imagery and metaphors--I really like the last stanza.
regarding some deleted poem...	amanda_dcosta 61.17.226.253	7-Dec-06/5:42 AM
Great work Paul. It's quite a while since I read some of your work. Good to see this post.
Re: Self Portrait by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 61.17.226.253	7-Dec-06/5:49 AM
Beautiful insight.
Re: Grafton Street Late Joys by Engelbert Humpalot	Blind Fart 195.194.75.209	7-Dec-06/8:33 AM
I loved this poem especially the farting bit. Cool.
Re: A Fart For All Mankind by Edna Sweetlove	Blind Fart 195.194.75.209	7-Dec-06/8:34 AM
I never knew this website was so FARTY! Another lovely fart poem!
Re: Ass-love by mrs smith	Blind Fart 195.194.75.209	7-Dec-06/8:35 AM
What a pity no farting in this one! But still it's anal.