What is this about?

The end was not as strong as i imagined, but it started and arced quite well. 7.

This is bril!!

This is wonderful...just wonderful. 9

Ah, at last. I was waiting for a new haiku. This is nearly excellent, you're one syllable over, possibly change immaculate to something shorter? I love the first line though. You have such a great ability to control images, I would love to see you do something longer than a haiku...these things are over too damn quickly & The Blooding was great. Right, that's me done for today, Good Morrow and God Bless you every one.

Too simplistic to get anywhere on this site-revise it and be a bit more creative with your vocab. Also decide whether you want to rhyme it or not because this just doesn't flow. That being said, I like the line "Just keep me posted on who you're fucking"...not heard that one before. Oh, and please change the title. There we go, there's a comment with critique, hope it was of some use. Let me know when you've edited this and I'll have amother look. Good Evening to you all.

Why would you even post this here? It's not poetry.

Curved evil breasts--how can breasts be evil? Can you use a better metaphor?

What you've done here is described current world events and future events by using a story from your past, bridging the gap of time and predicting the future. You should call this 'wheelchairs' don't float. Wet bushes don't burn. The reflection off of your eyes, timeless. I love you. I love you James. I love you Settle. I love you Hedwig, Nicole, Christy, Melissa, Jesus, Gumout, Tapioca, David, Goliath, Charmin, Sheila, Deborah, tanya handrinos, gayboyseverywhere, wadded money, warmpiss, plastic explosives, briaana, megan, cindy, paula, paul, pa, but i hate the Getty. Terrible Architecture. If I left anyone out... Take it up with my fucking publicist. Oh and remember this i don't need oxygen anymore. i breathe fingernails and gunpowder. I am GAyTAN!l

It scares me more to think of me with you.

Clearly a poem for, and about, homosexuality. 10!

"So why try, so goddamm hard There's no point, I'm geeting hurt Cos all you do, is ignore me This is for you, your victory" fix getting and make all of your cos' because. "This is for you, your victory This is for you, your victory This is for you, your victory This is for you, your victory." compress this stanza to one sentence to For you, this is, your meaning of victory

when I was a kid i always tried to see how far I could stick the tape in my father's tape measures out before it flopped over. Sometimes I'd get it out 10 or 12 feet, on a good $20 tape measure. Always I'd try to ease it out farther; always it'd flop before the end of the tape. Whenever I fucked up a $20 tape measure, I got a good licking.

Not excatally my type of poetry but it's ok ... i guess

delightful... I love line 7, "twinkly stars arms" I think the last line could have more oomph, because I read bukowski too much and have this last-line thing

im gonna vote it down cos im bitter and twisted and think u put far to much effort into a poem about spoons

Obvious juvenile comment about last line in first verse and 6th line second verse. Superlatives and exclmation marks!!!!11111 oh and some 11111's Are you a gerrrrman? Obvious comment about last line!!!! Yippeee

Hello Mr Pig I also love you very much, and would like to add my praise and affection. However I wonder if it would be possible for you to answer my questions to you on your Cheetah poem (I'm ever so sorry that they are most inappropriatley phrased!!) Thank you very much Your ever loving and affectionate ==Doylum.

lol.

Dio has rocked for a long long time. Now it's time for him to pass the torch.