thepinkbunnyofdoom
on affection wasted by milkymilk
27 Jan 2003, 2:11 PM
I'm not one to cry but my eyes got a little misty reading that. I've been in that boat too.
I like it
I liked the simplicity and the flow, which is why your choice of the word "aesthetically" threw off the mood for me a little bit. It sounds long and choppy and sterile compared the the rest of the verse. The middle four line stumble a little over extra syllables, but overall, you created a beautiful picture for me. Here's an 8 for ya.
Ouch you scare me. Its short but hey i like it
What's lovely is how this is isn't even a vilanelle, nor significant to the human condition on any level other than slightly humorus, but what the fuck it's #1 and i'm sure that counts for something, somewhere, somehow. right pinkbunnyofprune?
I have nothing of any signifigance to add, except wow. Of everything I've read today, this really sticks with me. Making a lasting impression with words is a hard thing to do, and you've done it beautifully. Big fat 10.
This poem is all over the place. A "renaissance of dust", if you will? 7.
Wow! Disturbing and some how facinating. Your peom is outstandly original. Great Work!!!
I Love your little Fairy Tale Mrs.God
Confusing as those "sound of one hand clapping" type questions but i like the 2nd and 3rd lines.
I loved it. Don't change it no matter what anyone says.
you gotta love the 6 string guitar!
nice free verse
That has got to be the wierdest thing i've ever read. Trust me not an easy feat. also the most original thing i've ever read. I give it a perfect ten.
Lovely, Just Lovely
he he hah. dust off. it was the dust off. must of been. yeah. wopner at seven. wopner at seven.
Jeremi B. Handrinos
on winter every day (Don't bother reading this) by some deleted user
27 Jan 2003, 4:07 PM
Yes, I know.
You have a good flow and i like the way you used the phoenix
Very original retelling of Jason and the Argonauts. That happens to be one of my favorite stories in greek mythology so I Voted it a ten.
Sorry dude to tell the truth this peom is kinda lame. No offence to you or anything. Just A question Is there some hidden meaning here that we're not getting? Just asking.
Terrific, a good strong picture. Thou you need to rethink the first line and make this more personal. Pretend you have seen the flower, it sounds to me like she has touched you with her sad state. Is she me, perhaps? If she is and even if she isn't use what you know of me, or any other woman who fits this discription, to make this richer. Think in precise images.
Get rid of 'and' before 'uproot'
Confusing and short.