I think at the end of the chorus...you should say..and lupos too.

This is to poetry what the blue lagoon was to cinema?

Disjointed, but nice.

haha

When horus was putting his father osiris back together...he purposely lost the penis..changing the universe forever. Need as dust pan?<

it's good, but a little confusing. i really don't know what it's about. i give it a 10 anyway! yay!

aww poor baby is all emotionally fucked. can i say that on the internet? anyway. at least you're direct. but the last two lines are good. its some type of thought process that we all go through. i think... but sort of like thinking things and then chastising ourselves for even thinking them. does that make sense?

i think the words are too big for my little mind. but after aquiring a dictionary (the two-set oxford one complete with magnifying glass) i think that you need to publish your poetry or go in a hole because you know its good. so why don't you publish?????? ???

The chorus is awful, BPS, it makes you sound like you're trying to write comedy teenybop punk. Please get rid of it-come up with a new chorus, or don't have one. The rest of the song is pretty good, and I like it, it started off quite emotive, but got less so-was that intentional? It might be better otherwise but that's your decision. Like I said, it's not at all bad. I'll not vote yet-if you do a rewrite I'll check it out again. Keep at it, I'd like to see a redraft.

I was reading random poetry When suddenly one night I came upon the dumbest poem That ever caught my sight Some idiot just prattled on and made no sense at all He thought it funny to write rhymes about hair and genitals. He lead me down the garden path through a churchyard to a cellar He thought with laughter, I would collapse To read how he stroked his 'fella' Well let me tell you one last time I'm sick and tired of reading Of self abuse and penis juice And auto-inflicted beatings you boys are dumb Who speak of bums And Aids and prawns and brownings Stay away, go and get laid You're in serious need of mounting I'm bored of being victimized by your manipulation Practice is the proven cure For pre-mature ejaculation. It's obvious your cock is small No 'Bishop' as you claim your just some stunted acolyte You should be ashamed.

In the Welsh climate my hair just gets wet. Oh for some ice and snow!

ooh, i like this one. it has a ring to it. i wish i had an answer to all of these.

I really enjoyed this - great stuff.

this is gay. you need help, and a life.

i guess if i was into the lovey-dovey mushy poetry i would have given it a better rating. but honestly. give it up... get drunk and forget about it

very creative? If creativity could be bottled..your bottle would be a paper office cup.

"It didn't look like the look of it," problem here. otherwise quite creative..hear that flamenboring? creative..quite. see the difference? good.

okay, some fucked up shit here

not sure what to say to this

Very creative, I like it