i really like, its great, great end with the last 4 lines =10

I like how the third line sets scale when none was there before. :)

nicely done, for what it is. :) the only bit o' weakness I felt be the toad, and 'm not quite sure what.

the rhythm really doesn't do it for me. I stumble all over the place, unexpectedly.

ehhhhhh. patient. and keep practicing.

revist? not a fan of this style.

lol! asl! I am a mockery of mocking myself mocking mockery? 7.

ew :)

eh. not horribly amusing.

good words, but I couldn't really stick to it.

'House of Pain', isn't that a French bread shop?

I wasn't sure where it was going, but I like where it ended. The middle was... eh. but good for the contrast, I suppose.

didn't do it for me.

Very enjoyable read. It's definately confusing at first, but after a couple of times I've got the hang. Nice one. 8

I actually rather like this. simple, to the point -- overdone, but quick about it. would go well over a speedmetal riff or something.

Great! 9

My favorite so far. Quite different fromt he first draft. I love the rhyming, tips/cliffs. Could/earth. Really a first rate poem. Change 'dusty' to something truer, deeper. Something sadder, more poignant.

whew.

shy slowly she skulls... sulks? skulls?

ow.