| Re: snot by fattony |
pete 195.92.168.164 |
11-Oct-06/1:55 PM |
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started out as yet another edna yet the final line shows a true poetic sensibility ... what else ya got, dude ?
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| Re: Figid Rrigid by Hostileintent |
Hostileintent 86.41.204.214 |
11-Oct-06/4:30 PM |
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tried a new format for this one....what do people think??
1underlying message (danger)split into its letters, each letter to start a sentence
2each sentence is 10 syllables
3each sentence composed of 2 parts
1st part of two words
2nd part of 3 words
4first and second words of each part relate
5last word in each line different, but rhyming????????
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| Re: forest morning by fiefofum |
fiefofum 86.41.204.214 |
11-Oct-06/4:44 PM |
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| Re: lNoOvTe by fiefofum |
fiefofum 86.41.204.214 |
11-Oct-06/4:56 PM |
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| Re: horus8 by sooz |
oddgreenout 86.41.204.214 |
11-Oct-06/4:59 PM |
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| Re: Emotionally Unavailable by horus8 |
oddgreenout 86.41.204.214 |
11-Oct-06/5:03 PM |
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| Re: Confession of a troubled man by Hostileintent |
Edna Sweetlove 85.210.218.23 |
11-Oct-06/5:12 PM |
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If you like doggerel, this is the one 4 U.
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| Re: Emotionally Unavailable by horus8 |
Edna Sweetlove 85.210.218.23 |
11-Oct-06/5:14 PM |
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pretentious - what a surprise!
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| Re: The Grand Adjustment by horus8 |
Edna Sweetlove 85.210.218.23 |
11-Oct-06/5:15 PM |
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Long-winded overbearing pseudo-illiterate TWADDLE
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| Re: Cassius by helenwales |
Edna Sweetlove 85.210.218.23 |
11-Oct-06/5:16 PM |
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Yes I like sex with pussies 2.
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| Re: Figid Rrigid by Hostileintent |
Dovina 17.255.240.138 |
11-Oct-06/7:07 PM |
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Form aside, (what does it matter?)it's a good observation, but what does "punctual" and "newer" have to do with it?
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| Re: forest morning by fiefofum |
Dovina 17.255.240.138 |
11-Oct-06/7:11 PM |
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an unusual and interesting form, not quite working yet.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
piedle 218.214.77.187 |
11-Oct-06/9:41 PM |
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its a dead poets society rip off - first half setting it up to say something - but really it is doing what it is criticising. I don't know - Sam Mendes attributes meaning to his films, after the fact. Argues that he subconsciously framed Road to Perdition with ideas which happened to coincide with complimentary reviews from overly analytical critics.
Don't you love attributing meaning after the fact? style then substance yeah...
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| Re: He Cares So Little About His Self by Hostileintent |
piedle 218.214.77.187 |
11-Oct-06/9:56 PM |
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slightly melodramatic - bits and pieces really 'work' though.
Don't listen to helenwales, she writes for post 2000 Vanilla Ice.
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| Re: Soy Flat White with One by helenwales |
piedle 218.214.77.187 |
11-Oct-06/10:17 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
drnick 24.176.22.254 |
11-Oct-06/11:49 PM |
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I'm not sure the subject could convey to that many people, but I definately like it. Smooth rhythem, and a unique style.
Meanings are meaningless, nevertheless inevitable upon second guess.
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| Re: Old Friend by drnick |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
12-Oct-06/1:12 AM |
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| Re: October by A_Dark_Calm |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
12-Oct-06/1:17 AM |
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Sweet, very sweet. I'd like to see the rhythm you start with continued all the way through - some of the shorter lines in particular disrupt the way it runs. The end of stanza one is to die for ('a day has passed and left me 30/more before she's back at home' works wonders). Perhaps you could trim a few occasions of 'love' here and there - by the time I got to the end, the word had lost a lot of its impact through the repetitions.
Still a lovely, lovely read :-)
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| Re: my memories by fiefofum |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
12-Oct-06/1:20 AM |
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Intriguing time capsule thoughts. Couple of typos.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
12-Oct-06/1:34 AM |
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Not bad, why submitting it 3 times?
(A gut well shanked by other men!)
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