Hoped it would be about bikin line, however babybel cheeses have never been written about as far as i know.

This just goes on too long, your rhyme schemes good enough but its a dud firework, nothing original to offer the heartbreak genre -5-

I like this poem a lot, it's well-written and true, although the ending seems a little disconnected. 8.

wow. you sure managed to get an assload of comments on this. :) I don't see the balance/lack of competition. I see the straining to destroy. I think I need more to lead me to this zen.

I drowned in this deep river, you came from a clever angle on love here, sophisticated, and no holds barred.*8*

Are we that bad? This is quite good in observation but lacks narrative. However I like your use of language you say a lot with little

this is nothing like stans rice work, so don't listen to that guy who can right a poem in 126 seconds while listening to culturally significant jazz and oops goddamnit plugging up the toilet for the bluecollar people on the first snow of winter in 126 seconds. hooray for the muted trumpet and a drunk snacking too much at three in the morning. this poem is a bit passe and bland, but it hangs well and gets the point across simple enough.d

Doubt you'll even see this comment, hope so as I've grafted on this work of yours. I think a poem of chess is a good subject and this could benefit as GW suggested from maybe a metaphor like 'Royal blood drips from its master, drier than the falling sand, Pawns in numbers advance, Kings remain seated, armies depleted, Death begins the devils dance, Black and white combat, so true to life, inconclusive, slain to the rhythm of superior thought. Well that took 5 mins and its a bit messed up but hope i may have helped.

I'm confused. Is this a religious preacher poem, a third world preacher poem or a can't-be-arsed poem? Not bad, anyway.

Awful, I agree

I assume you're American? That would explain the spelling 'lackluster'. Over here it's 'lacklustre', but that doesn't matter. Good work, 7 or 8, can't decide...

It seems to be missing just a little something in the middle, but, I like it; I think it's tone of pointed obscurity is interesting.

I just read this, but it was called "Trust."

I think you are trying to be deep here for your own good. This sounds like a good Stan Rice poem. But that just will not do. Maybe try to calm the images a bit.

Why all the /////s and @s?

I just wanted to tell you that I've read all your work and I think you have a lot of talent. That may not be much coming from someone who can't really write, but I really like your poems.

this is still beyond anything vaguely gaseous. shine on you crazy diamond

zzinnia66-R.E. "I have read..." Well, the poem in question is called 'The North Wind', in case that rings any bells (so to speak). I didn't feel that somebody voting it a two was such a crime (although in my opinion it's better than that-but then I'm biased), but the fact that there was no explanation as to why it warranted such a low mark. I, as opposed to some pranksters (Blade etc), put my poems on here because I'd like to know if they're any good. I wouldn't mind people giving me low marks, as long as they're justified (I hope this doesn't sound too whiny!) Thanks for your concern, I did check your stats out-very impressive!

This was chaucerian,witty, shitty, full of deeper meaning. Laughed out loud. "Please sir can I have some more"

We've had A Hitchcock invasion of crows in the last few days, liked the last 7-8 lines -7-