-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
on Sod by jrtails
20 Nov 2002, 5:38 AM
wtf!? lol!!!!!!!11111111
this makes me feel something, but i'll be damned if i know what it is. i like that, and i like it. 8
oh, strider, put in a little effort and the world will reward you with its
this reminds me of the answer to the question no one asked.
unpleasantly bumpy rhythm and pretty incoherent too. ick.
if only there were a 'near-vilanelle' option. i am disappointed you call it one and do not deliver. i'll come back and reread when less jaded.
is this finished? its not a poem and as a piece of literature its woefully uninspiring.
Keep on writing though, you can do it
actually, p&k, I haven't given shin all 10s. outside of this artificial environment, i also help edit his other work. Don't assume things, it makes you look foolish.
Too many words, too little content.
i give this one two swastikas up! lovely work. 9
Take out the Shakespeare. the second stanza is far better than the first though it still needs work. What the hell's a clich?
Your title has a typo. the mood never builds.
"that you did not think" what? I can guess but I want you to tell me in one or two words. I think that's just a personal thing. Very nice, like a piece of driftwood.
is this finished? its not a poem and as a piece of literature its woefully uninspiring.
Keep on writing though, you can do it
name: FantasticFreddy
favorite band: nirvana
favorite album: bleach
hobbies/interests: hangin' with friends, being cool and having a life, chilling out, pretending to be deep and depressed, partying with friends, having loads of friends, indiscriminately socialising with as many top-notch dullards as possible, model train sets.
Happiness is a cigar called Jesus Christ.