-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
on HATE by Blade
5 Nov 2002, 5:13 AM
AIDS
wow, the treacle is making me vomit
congratulations
how about "poemrankers = word-wise wankers"?
Fantastic! I knew somebody out there would answer my plea. I also like the innuendo in the third one!
how many times are you going to write this poem?
oh, god. will this ever end?
"When the sticky pink cotton dress
Gets stuck between your thighs" -- Excellent visual and rhythmic line, but the last two lines do not match it and the poem loses me a bit. After you nail something like that, a major league line, I expect the whole poem to follow. But a nice draft all the same.
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." Eh. Did you get a boner letting my words flow around in your head and blood and while your fingers typed them out onto the screen. I bet you did, boy, I bet you did.
"I am suffocating
Under the weight of a memory" good stuff. And I like small breasts!
i'm giving this a nine, it's very good and interesting and all that alluring shite, but the structure needs some a bit more water tight integrity. 8.
another splendid thrust...here's a seven.all bad girls deserve a seven unless you're a man..than your an eight for making me need your shaft that much more. 7.
jesus christ...i'm your brother for christ sake have a little respect for the family name..whatever that might be. 9.
i would of enjoyed the coffee maker a bit more, as far as things getting shut off go....here's an 8. even though i really think you're a wretched shite. 8.
Very effective. I completely ignore the first stanza because I have trouble understanding it. You should either through it out or rework it.
Hmm, cliched, shallow, meaningless. Only joking. Unlike some of the bastards here I think all poetry is good as long as it means something to the author.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
5 Nov 2002, 5:07 AM
it made me look at the hardcore porn industry in an entirely different way.Thankyou so much
daniella
on Ten solid facts about -=Dark Angel=-, by his biggest palm frond, me. by horus8
4 Nov 2002, 6:35 PM
poetry wars have begun and i do believe horus has taken the first shot.
"I should say" seems awkward and would it work better if you dropped "my soul's"? But after having baby piss and shit all over the floor your sould could be in demise. Tell tha family hi, give the cats a pet.
An easy and intelligent read.
Is this about Tim Westwood? Or Tim from Big Brother?