Excellent moments, but needs work.

i agree with the chick who likes horse piss. everytime, actually.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ THE OTHER POEM CALLED MORNING GLORY

'Basel movements'?

Adderal is a pink dextroamphetamine that makes you skinny and very intelligent - it also makes your mouth dry. I don't think that's what you're talking about.

I thought you said "tartness in its fart". i appologies.t

i went cow tipping once in bellingham. i am the shoe horn that invented sophistication, and the blow dryer.

It starts amusingly, but the ending is ridiculous.

wow that's pretty intense shit..heres a 10.

No. I am not. It is extremely sanctimonious and boring. I prefer to blaspheme. Bathe in holy water. Get drunk on Christ's blood. Grow fat on consecrated wafers. Burn crucifixes. Laugh at modern churches that look like spaceships about to take off. Hide in the confession booth and read porn to the priest. I must not think about this question, because I know I am not spreading it. I am spreading my own self-glorification. I am laughing in the face of God and burning Bibles. As for the fate I reserve to this poem, I cannot decide, because the Bible at least has some literary merit

i would end with fuck this can't...totally appropriate use of mood and insomnia and achieving ones listed goals. proud of yeah. fuck that last can though. take this 9 and filet mignon gift basket.

you ever take a shit and forget to make sure there was enough toilet paper before dropping your friends off at the pool...and then discovering that there wasn't use a nice new maroon hand towel than ring it out and put it up on the shower rod to air dry? i bet, and i would wager daily.l

you always find a way to ... ranifercate (sorry, couldn't think of a word) your thoughts. brilliantly. God didn't die though, he just stepped back and let us rough up things for awhile. I wonder if tomorrow really did go away...if today would be worth the chance of a new beginning.

alright...i don't know why, well yeah i do, but this piece broke my fucking broken heart from atoms to quarks. you deserve a 10 if not for just proving to me that this style of writing can still be poignant and effective..then for making me even consider why. 10..if i was horus8 i'd give you a golden que-tip award, but i'm not. i'm ryan thorstad.10!e

I like this. I think it needs work, though. When I find the time, and when I see you, I will tell you where the weaknesses are. In the meantime, I'm sure our friends here can help.

u suck but not cuz u spelt i wrong. u suck cuz this poem is s-h-i-t-e.

Good God ==Doylum, are you ok?! Stand too close to the metro? I heard if someone has wings only on their right side it means they're gay. Is that true, or just a celestial legend? Must be a legend. I mean you don't have any parts right? But wait you told me you used to frabble to the tunes of Ms. Amos. What's going on? You have some explaining to do. Those wings are phony aren't they. Wing implants, humpf. When are you lads going to learn to love yourselves for who you are? You make baby Jesus cry.

also, switch the order of the first 2 lines. knuckles will be white before the crash, laddie.

ouch. atari.

ha ha! you are completely mooning the choir, what's next. finger banging the bird's bath, collecting clippings from the private boys shavery. tampon string dental floss. guess what? you're FIRED! box up your shite and go. bastard..