Rambling and innocuous, in love with himself or herself and smug.

This guy uses the word " and " more than any other I have seen and " but " p-l-ease. What other sort of insomnia is there if not nightly-unless you are on night shits I guess and then its daily insomnia-go figure-

yes. always so.

A lot of apparently prehensile prose that on inspection lends itself more to the machinations of an adolescent mind with its elevation and repetition of words banished by poets. Well Shange Ntozake uses them, so does W H Auden and a few of the other greats I shouldn't wonder. It has merit-more B+ than A+ but the sycophantic plebeians here wouldn't know the difference. I say vive la difference !

Personally, I've never liked inversions. I'd much rather sacrifice the rhyme. I'm a big sports fan. Baseball, followed closely by what is known here as soccer. It a bitch not to score. the inversion kills this for me. I want you to tell me more about the play.

God's wife, no false modesty here. Naive as turnips ? It was simple and emotional-what's wrong with that, I loved it. A lot better than some of the hyperbole herein administered by others who give themselves up to the art and fail miserably-Well done, you have talent, take risks-go for it a bit more this was a great start- 10/10

Why would you want to severely criticise the sun, the giver of life ? You also use a lot of " ands" are you ralted to babitt-he uses them a lot to-dead language pilgrim-get a live. I liked the ending it made me laugh, you may have potential, get over yourself first, you are in denial. 7/10

There are good poets here, but it is a matter of patience. I like this, especially the last stanza and the last lines. The tone shift from stanza to stanza makes it work, although I am not sure the first line is such a happy little image. I know it is supposed to be light hearted, but a snowflake hitting a nose, well, usually melts. I

how is this a song of birds? sounds more like a diary entry of a teenage girl who needs to get out and live a little.

I favour the meat and potato pie myself. Nice poem, in an ironic kind of way.

Hi Rainbow, Is there a reason you have left out the punctuation and capitalisation, they are one of a poet's tools and give you more scope to express yourself if used properly. The title is a little misleading here, but the experience is real enough, I have been there, it would be a better poem if you had identified the inner shadow more fully, why should you suddenly become selfconciously aware of your aloneness rather than of the forest's beauty. The answer is all in your mind.

LukeHanney might be paranoid and overzealous, but this works nicely. it's nice when something catches you off guard with its

What is it that makes a poem? To me, it's just a feeling I get when I read the thing. When I read this, I feel that it is more travelogue than poem (or something)... ;)

Your poems are not grand but they are effective. "My self a little happiness..." is very dear to my heart. A sweet and humble philosophy. By the way, youe website is beautiful my son and I browsed through a little last night, he will definitely be benefiting from it. It's very pretty. I will make a point to use the search engine there.

Yeh, its a bit of alright is this. it seems slightly reminiscent of someone-can't put me finger on it just yet, it'll come to me. Splendid effort old bean-10/10

Hey razorgrin! Posting soon? Hadn't read this, actually come to think of it I may have overlooked your poems. Love the word pickman. The 2nd couplet is my favorite, even though "moon-trees brew" seemed awkward, or maybe because.

i am moved, and entertained. thank you.

would be better if the first line had more 'rigid cadence'.

sounds more lyric than free verse

the title is the best part. i thought it was going to have something to do with